I'd like to think I have a gift
I'd like to think me rare
Humor talent moxie charm
Presence savoire faire
You should see me sing and dance
On my own private stage
There's never been a show like this
To me I'm all the rage
The critic in my mind could fill
The whole newspaper page
And rejection makes me wonder
Just how the judges gauge
To outside eyes is obvious
my mediocrity?
Self-talk self-assurance create
this dichotomy?
The voices of the Positives
Say don't indulge the dark
Believe the mirror write the pages
of private stage remarks
The follies I've performed
for loved ones and for friends
Shining spotlights on myself
Alighting my descent
My need for loud ovations
A stranger's rave review
Crumbling me because I find
Auditions far and few
I'm using all the charity
I've earned throughout the years
For one more chance at that big break
To cap off my career.
Thanks to all who've done before
Who choose to fill my ears
Who conjure up my distant soul
Once so cavalier
Tick-tock, time will do the trick
Rest assured I know
My stage fright temporary
My soul made for the show
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Monday, December 19, 2005
Monday, December 12, 2005
Impending
It was Thursday afternoon, about one o'clock when I returned to the ICU after lunch. Maybe 1:30, actually. I took a little longer at lunch than I should have, probably.
In the corner room to my left, I saw a nurse motioning for me to come over.
Mr. H was in the bed breathing quickly and deeply. Just that morning, our team had decided that he was ready to leave the ICU and go to the wards, as he was showing improvement after his heart valve replacement surgery. Now he was lying in the same position in bed, but strapped with a mask on his face.
I went to visit with him. Though he was breathing heavily, he was still quite aware of himself and his surroundings.
I went through my motions, examining him, checking his lines, the drainage tube from his chest. Ordered a chest x-ray. Got another physician to look at him and discuss what to do. Developed a plan, executed it.
As things progressed, I continued an interrupted dialogue with Mr. H, noting his awareness and condition. He never really worsened, neurologically speaking. But his breathing problems persisted.
He was quite raspy as well, as previous surgery in his past had left a scarred vocal cord.
"How are you doing," I asked. He nodded his head, and then shook it--probably not necessary to say any words.
"Are you getting tired?" He nodded again. Then he mouthed something. Through the high flow of oxygen through his facemask, it was even harder to hear and understand him.
I leaned in.
"Where's Dr. p? Is Dr. p coming?"
"Yes," I acknowledge, his surgeon would be on his way, though I didn't really know that for sure.
I straightened up and he motioned be back to his face again.
"I don't think I'm gonna make it this time," he said.
"We'll get you taken care of," I shallowly replied.
Mr. H died two days later, his distress and death a result of an infection.
Because he was so short of breath and was soon intubated, I believe those words were some of the last he spoke. So calmly, assuredly.
To me. Or to anyone else.
In the corner room to my left, I saw a nurse motioning for me to come over.
Mr. H was in the bed breathing quickly and deeply. Just that morning, our team had decided that he was ready to leave the ICU and go to the wards, as he was showing improvement after his heart valve replacement surgery. Now he was lying in the same position in bed, but strapped with a mask on his face.
I went to visit with him. Though he was breathing heavily, he was still quite aware of himself and his surroundings.
I went through my motions, examining him, checking his lines, the drainage tube from his chest. Ordered a chest x-ray. Got another physician to look at him and discuss what to do. Developed a plan, executed it.
As things progressed, I continued an interrupted dialogue with Mr. H, noting his awareness and condition. He never really worsened, neurologically speaking. But his breathing problems persisted.
He was quite raspy as well, as previous surgery in his past had left a scarred vocal cord.
"How are you doing," I asked. He nodded his head, and then shook it--probably not necessary to say any words.
"Are you getting tired?" He nodded again. Then he mouthed something. Through the high flow of oxygen through his facemask, it was even harder to hear and understand him.
I leaned in.
"Where's Dr. p? Is Dr. p coming?"
"Yes," I acknowledge, his surgeon would be on his way, though I didn't really know that for sure.
I straightened up and he motioned be back to his face again.
"I don't think I'm gonna make it this time," he said.
"We'll get you taken care of," I shallowly replied.
Mr. H died two days later, his distress and death a result of an infection.
Because he was so short of breath and was soon intubated, I believe those words were some of the last he spoke. So calmly, assuredly.
To me. Or to anyone else.
Sunday, December 11, 2005
Solomon
Sorrow is better than laughter, for sadness has a refining influence on us.
A wise person thinks much about death, while the fool thinks only about having a good time now.
Enjoy prosperity while you can. But when hard times strike, realize that both come from God. That way you will realize that nothing is certain in this life.
A wise person thinks much about death, while the fool thinks only about having a good time now.
Enjoy prosperity while you can. But when hard times strike, realize that both come from God. That way you will realize that nothing is certain in this life.
Friday, December 09, 2005
Snow
There was a snow storm the night before last.
TEN INCHES of snow on my car in the morning.
Of course, being a doctor, I could not play hookey. Had to trudge through the sludge to get to work.
This morning, it was colder here in KC than it was in Anchorage, Alaska.
Amazing.
TEN INCHES of snow on my car in the morning.
Of course, being a doctor, I could not play hookey. Had to trudge through the sludge to get to work.
This morning, it was colder here in KC than it was in Anchorage, Alaska.
Amazing.
Saturday, November 26, 2005
Thought Biopsy
What's coming to mind at this moment:
...wondering what Ethiopian food is like? I had a visit from my friend Dr. David Gilbert, classmate of mine at OU med school. He was up here interviewing for a residency position. We went to eat last Monday night, had Ethiopian food. Kinda felt guilty, eating Ethiopian food. Like I should have boxed it up and sent it to Ethiopia so the kids there could eat it. No utensils with Ethiopian food. You are given a large, thin piece of bread that is actually more like a pancake all folded up. You tear off a piece of the pancake and pick up the food with the pancake. On my plate was ground beef, collared greens, spicy lentils and some yellow bean paste type thing. Not too bad. Kinda messy, but the warm towel was handy. And, no follow-up bowel problems.
...This month has been easier for me, compared to October--for all of you who may have sniffed out some kind of despair or lamentation in my last post. I think I may have come across a bit more despondent than I intended. Wasn't terrible, but the hardest working 21 days I've had. I was working on some kind of task every day from the moment I arrived at work at 5am until I left at ~6pm. Toss in the occasional call night where the clock doesn't stop and I don't go home until noon the next day. This leads me to another thought...
...I suppose everyone has choices in how busy they are at work. If you want to advance in your company/work, you will likely have to put in many long days with constant working through the day. If you don't impose pressure on yourself to advance, you can have the slow workday, peppered with personal phone calls, errand running, long lunches, background music, etc. There's certainly nothing wrong with that kind of workday. I'm just jealous. Must be nice.
...I feel like I should have an I-Pod. That's called effective marketing. I'm learning that I am supposed to have a need to have music at my disposal at any given moment, all contained in a conspicuous white package and white appendage from the ear. But when am I supposed to listen to music? When I'm at home, I use the stereo or computer. Work?...funny. The drive?...got the car stereo. So why should I want an I-Pod? Answer/theory: I'm almost 30. If I don't catch on to this gadget and learn it, then I'm on the downhill slide to technical oblivion. The road that leads intelligent men and women to be rendered helpless by a VCR.
...Music lately--Damien Rice
...Dealing with student loan lenders sucks. It's hard not to approach them with suspicion like used car salesmen. Especially since 3% on my loans totals into the thousands.
...It's very hard to let your light shine when a nurse pages you up at 4am, no matter the reason. Jesus never dealt with that. Dr. Gilbert, I have broken our resolution too many times.
...So now I'm in the ICU, where death is somewhat a part of the routine. (Of course, not everyone dies.) The team I'm on this month is consulted when patient are placed on mechanical ventilation. Several patients have had medical care withdrawn due to the poor prognosis of their condition. Others just have so many medical problems that families let nature take its course, with no intervention with resuscitation drugs or procedures. Other patients camp out for a very long time in the ICU, with no instructions on end of life issues, perhaps due to a lack of planning or, in one case, no family is able to be located to dictate plans. I believe now that God has given us some jurisdiction over life and death. I'm not going to touch the abortion issue. But we have become comfortable with the idea of "playing God" when in reference to creating life--birth control, in-vitro fertilization, fertility drugs. However, it is more uncomfortable regarding death. God has given us, as humans, the ability to end life. Murder is a sinful way to end life. Withdrawing medical treatment in light of a statistically proven poor prognosis is not seen as sinful. As medical advancement continues, we are capable of keeping a person "alive" seemingly forever with mechanical ventilation, a feeding tube, and a pace maker. Give antibiotics when infection sets in. Dialysis if the kidneys stop working. Miracles happen, but death is more common. And nobody gets out of this world alive. I think that God's forgiveness covers ending life in these situations. Perhaps the commandment, "Thou shall not kill" should be viewed as a heart issue, meaning that the difference between murder and withdrawal of care is malice vs. wisdom/sympathy/compassion. How many other sins or perceived/implied sins can be viewed as such?
...I need a haircut.
...To the Texas fans out there: Enjoy it while you can. Vince Young will leave one day. Heisman-less (Reggie Bush) and championship-less (USC will make them one-dimensional) to boot.
...wondering what Ethiopian food is like? I had a visit from my friend Dr. David Gilbert, classmate of mine at OU med school. He was up here interviewing for a residency position. We went to eat last Monday night, had Ethiopian food. Kinda felt guilty, eating Ethiopian food. Like I should have boxed it up and sent it to Ethiopia so the kids there could eat it. No utensils with Ethiopian food. You are given a large, thin piece of bread that is actually more like a pancake all folded up. You tear off a piece of the pancake and pick up the food with the pancake. On my plate was ground beef, collared greens, spicy lentils and some yellow bean paste type thing. Not too bad. Kinda messy, but the warm towel was handy. And, no follow-up bowel problems.
...This month has been easier for me, compared to October--for all of you who may have sniffed out some kind of despair or lamentation in my last post. I think I may have come across a bit more despondent than I intended. Wasn't terrible, but the hardest working 21 days I've had. I was working on some kind of task every day from the moment I arrived at work at 5am until I left at ~6pm. Toss in the occasional call night where the clock doesn't stop and I don't go home until noon the next day. This leads me to another thought...
...I suppose everyone has choices in how busy they are at work. If you want to advance in your company/work, you will likely have to put in many long days with constant working through the day. If you don't impose pressure on yourself to advance, you can have the slow workday, peppered with personal phone calls, errand running, long lunches, background music, etc. There's certainly nothing wrong with that kind of workday. I'm just jealous. Must be nice.
...I feel like I should have an I-Pod. That's called effective marketing. I'm learning that I am supposed to have a need to have music at my disposal at any given moment, all contained in a conspicuous white package and white appendage from the ear. But when am I supposed to listen to music? When I'm at home, I use the stereo or computer. Work?...funny. The drive?...got the car stereo. So why should I want an I-Pod? Answer/theory: I'm almost 30. If I don't catch on to this gadget and learn it, then I'm on the downhill slide to technical oblivion. The road that leads intelligent men and women to be rendered helpless by a VCR.
...Music lately--Damien Rice
...Dealing with student loan lenders sucks. It's hard not to approach them with suspicion like used car salesmen. Especially since 3% on my loans totals into the thousands.
...It's very hard to let your light shine when a nurse pages you up at 4am, no matter the reason. Jesus never dealt with that. Dr. Gilbert, I have broken our resolution too many times.
...So now I'm in the ICU, where death is somewhat a part of the routine. (Of course, not everyone dies.) The team I'm on this month is consulted when patient are placed on mechanical ventilation. Several patients have had medical care withdrawn due to the poor prognosis of their condition. Others just have so many medical problems that families let nature take its course, with no intervention with resuscitation drugs or procedures. Other patients camp out for a very long time in the ICU, with no instructions on end of life issues, perhaps due to a lack of planning or, in one case, no family is able to be located to dictate plans. I believe now that God has given us some jurisdiction over life and death. I'm not going to touch the abortion issue. But we have become comfortable with the idea of "playing God" when in reference to creating life--birth control, in-vitro fertilization, fertility drugs. However, it is more uncomfortable regarding death. God has given us, as humans, the ability to end life. Murder is a sinful way to end life. Withdrawing medical treatment in light of a statistically proven poor prognosis is not seen as sinful. As medical advancement continues, we are capable of keeping a person "alive" seemingly forever with mechanical ventilation, a feeding tube, and a pace maker. Give antibiotics when infection sets in. Dialysis if the kidneys stop working. Miracles happen, but death is more common. And nobody gets out of this world alive. I think that God's forgiveness covers ending life in these situations. Perhaps the commandment, "Thou shall not kill" should be viewed as a heart issue, meaning that the difference between murder and withdrawal of care is malice vs. wisdom/sympathy/compassion. How many other sins or perceived/implied sins can be viewed as such?
...I need a haircut.
...To the Texas fans out there: Enjoy it while you can. Vince Young will leave one day. Heisman-less (Reggie Bush) and championship-less (USC will make them one-dimensional) to boot.
Sunday, October 30, 2005
October
Another month has come and gone in my residency. This past month, I have been in survival mode, just trying to keep up on things at work.
In October, I was rotating on trauma surgery. This meant 4am wake up. Work from 5:30 am to usually 6pm daily. I had a day off two weeks ago, I believe. Of course, I did have a vacation for a week at the beginning of the month. But, all work, no play makes Sam a dull boy. This past month has stunk too. I think I find solace in griping, however. I also find myself cussing a lot more. They're just words to me, but clearly they do have a vigor to them for which other words cannot suffice.
Of note from the past month...
...At one time, I was taking care of two alleged murderers at the same time. Both were continuously monitored by county police, to be arrested upon my discharging them from the hospital. It's hard to treat a person who killed someone who is complaining of pain. Sympathy is in short supply. On the other hand, far be it from me to not acquiesce to every wish of someone who isn't afraid to kill. Had another patient who took on some prison guards. Not gonna cross him either, although he's probably wishing he was in the hospital right now rather than under the careful watch of some pissed off prison guards.
...I haven't been outside much. Probably a total of 2 hours over the last 21 days.
...I worked overnight the night of the time change. As much fun as those of you who are recreational sleepers had on Saturday night, it sucks when you're up and working, and you watch the clocks turn back.
...My PlayStation 2 stopped playing discs yesterday, eliminating two forms of entertainment for me--games and DVDs. This comes just after signing up for Netflix. All I've got now is network television (no cable).
...which means I get far too many celebrity news shows and infomercials.
...Law & Order, any version, is fantastic.
...Is my last name really that tricky? I get phone calls at work from many different nurses during the day, meaning that I must answer to many versions of my name. "Carr" has been the most common. There's always the hesitant attempts, too--"Ca...Car...Carr-y??"
...This is also complicated by the fact that one of my supervising physicians is named Khare (pronounced Car-ee), but looks like "care," which is how my last name is pronounced.
...Great to hear from old friends. Drop a line if you can.
In October, I was rotating on trauma surgery. This meant 4am wake up. Work from 5:30 am to usually 6pm daily. I had a day off two weeks ago, I believe. Of course, I did have a vacation for a week at the beginning of the month. But, all work, no play makes Sam a dull boy. This past month has stunk too. I think I find solace in griping, however. I also find myself cussing a lot more. They're just words to me, but clearly they do have a vigor to them for which other words cannot suffice.
Of note from the past month...
...At one time, I was taking care of two alleged murderers at the same time. Both were continuously monitored by county police, to be arrested upon my discharging them from the hospital. It's hard to treat a person who killed someone who is complaining of pain. Sympathy is in short supply. On the other hand, far be it from me to not acquiesce to every wish of someone who isn't afraid to kill. Had another patient who took on some prison guards. Not gonna cross him either, although he's probably wishing he was in the hospital right now rather than under the careful watch of some pissed off prison guards.
...I haven't been outside much. Probably a total of 2 hours over the last 21 days.
...I worked overnight the night of the time change. As much fun as those of you who are recreational sleepers had on Saturday night, it sucks when you're up and working, and you watch the clocks turn back.
...My PlayStation 2 stopped playing discs yesterday, eliminating two forms of entertainment for me--games and DVDs. This comes just after signing up for Netflix. All I've got now is network television (no cable).
...which means I get far too many celebrity news shows and infomercials.
...Law & Order, any version, is fantastic.
...Is my last name really that tricky? I get phone calls at work from many different nurses during the day, meaning that I must answer to many versions of my name. "Carr" has been the most common. There's always the hesitant attempts, too--"Ca...Car...Carr-y??"
...This is also complicated by the fact that one of my supervising physicians is named Khare (pronounced Car-ee), but looks like "care," which is how my last name is pronounced.
...Great to hear from old friends. Drop a line if you can.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
The Party
Well, this has turned out to be quite the reunion. Welcome to old friends who are stumbling into my little cyber world. Thanks for making contact.
Had a week off for vacation. Went to Dallas to visit my family. Also celebrated the 1st birthday of little Sam Thomas, my namesake. It's very sad, really. You can tell how much pressure he feels to live up to the name because of how much he craps his pants when I'm around. He's a tender little guy. Still wets the bed.
Actually, he's one of the sweetest kids you'll ever meet, without a doubt. Here he is/we are:
Got to see my nephews, David and Peter, who are Will and Allison's children. They also have one on the way. Three kids within 3 years...they're not Catholic. Pete's walking now. David's using sentences and is fascinated with fans.
And, here in KC, are Caden and Emery, Jake and Amy's children, who I get to see nearly every week. Sweet kids.
Here's Emery:
And...here is me at Halloween last year:
Had a week off for vacation. Went to Dallas to visit my family. Also celebrated the 1st birthday of little Sam Thomas, my namesake. It's very sad, really. You can tell how much pressure he feels to live up to the name because of how much he craps his pants when I'm around. He's a tender little guy. Still wets the bed.
Actually, he's one of the sweetest kids you'll ever meet, without a doubt. Here he is/we are:
Got to see my nephews, David and Peter, who are Will and Allison's children. They also have one on the way. Three kids within 3 years...they're not Catholic. Pete's walking now. David's using sentences and is fascinated with fans.
And, here in KC, are Caden and Emery, Jake and Amy's children, who I get to see nearly every week. Sweet kids.
Here's Emery:
And...here is me at Halloween last year:
Sunday, October 09, 2005
Dr. Caire's TV prescription
I watched one of the first episode's of Grey's Anatomy, chuckled at it, not with it, and have not watched much of it since. Since I don't have cable, I am reliant upon network television for entertainment, and have thus gazed at a few clips of GA again--repeat chuckling and huffing and puffing.
I'm not so cynical to think that TV medical dramas should be strictly adherent to reality. Rather it shouldn't since a great deal of it, from my experience, is mundane and not relative to the general public. But there's a limit to what I can take.
And here's an article from MSN discussing it.
I have started watching ER, and it has some stuff I can really relate to. But the amount of crazy cases you see in the hour is more like the amount you might see in a month.
My life in medicine is some combo of the pain the residents feel on ER, and the dumb butt feelings of the residents on Scrubs (as well as some of the humor).
So those I can sidle up to the remote and watch. The others are stretching it.
I'm not so cynical to think that TV medical dramas should be strictly adherent to reality. Rather it shouldn't since a great deal of it, from my experience, is mundane and not relative to the general public. But there's a limit to what I can take.
And here's an article from MSN discussing it.
I have started watching ER, and it has some stuff I can really relate to. But the amount of crazy cases you see in the hour is more like the amount you might see in a month.
My life in medicine is some combo of the pain the residents feel on ER, and the dumb butt feelings of the residents on Scrubs (as well as some of the humor).
So those I can sidle up to the remote and watch. The others are stretching it.
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Day off, or just another day
I get few days off these days. I was off yesterday and today--two in a row--which is a rarity, but often actually a consequence.
Two days off...after working eleven straight.
All I wanted to do this morning was go and hit golf balls on my day off.
It's raining.
Back to work tomorrow for another week, sunrise to sunset...weather is supposed to be great.
Get to work a 6:30...copy down morning labs in the hospital. Thumb through the chart trying to make heads or tails of illegible notes from other doctors. Write a note about the patient, not totally knowing what my supervising doc really wants to do today with the patient. Repeat this for each of the 8 patients i am responsible for in the hospital. Be interrupted in this process by questions from nurses ranging from the banal to the insurmountable, usually covering any and every patient care topic not expressly covered in medical school. Talking to patients who talk amazingly slow, who smell bad, who are tragically unaware/ignorant of taking care of their own health.
It has becomed terribly difficult to connect to the "I just want to help people" aspect of medicine that we all had going into medical school. Whatever I personally had to offer with my charm is far outweighed and imbalanced by the difficulty of the science and procedure of health care. While I may be an intelligent and talented person, I often feel I am a burden to my supervisors, getting a few to many glances with smirks or furrrowed brows asking me, "Now where did you go to medical school?" These intellectual blows along with the frustrating patients who all too often reside in the margins of tolerability are making it a tired and sad era in my life right now.
Patients far too often hold a tragic flaw. Or perhaps a half dozen of them. Personal disregard (ie, smoking, fat), denial (fat, smoking), poor education, distrust of doctors, complete reliance upon doctors, addiction (fat, smoking, pain killers)...just to name a few. I would venture to say that maybe 1 of 8 patients is a reasonable, socially and hygenically aware, of moderate habits, negotiable, trusting...all at the same time. Even so, there is the idea of "What are you gonna do to fix up what I have screwed up?...And if you can't...or if you're wrong.........."
Of course not everyone is like that. But you would be surprised. And it has been very difficult for me to have much sympathy with these folks.
For the Christians out there, these are the beggars on the streets we see in the New Testament. These are the helpless and the exhausting people who were passed by. And now I can see why. Though some were certainly calloused and perhaps far from merciful, I imagine many of Jesus' entourage were incapable of helping the beggars and the sick.
They had no idea where to start with them, thinking, here we go again with the father bringing his kid to us again with the demon spells. Every day, begging for help, and what are we supposed to do.
And there's the local floozy, sleeps with any man who provides any semblance of a relationship even if the man's married, then comes to us when her heart has been broken or she's dumped on the street or she's sick and out of money or shelter.
Or...great, now we've got about a few hundred people following us around, somehow knowing exactly where we're going to be, knowing exactly where to sit outside the city to beg, expecting us to feed them. And they're only going to get pissed of when I tell them I can't help the way that I really want to help.
(Aside: Does anyone else see how amazing Jesus' feeding of the 5000 was in light of what's happening in New Orleans?)
All of this to say that, with the "all work, no play", the paralyzing weight of medical knowledge and expectation, the difficult patients...it's just been quite difficult lately.
And it's raining on my day off.
And I just found out that my vacation in two weeks has been denied...no vacation until February.
Two days off...after working eleven straight.
All I wanted to do this morning was go and hit golf balls on my day off.
It's raining.
Back to work tomorrow for another week, sunrise to sunset...weather is supposed to be great.
Get to work a 6:30...copy down morning labs in the hospital. Thumb through the chart trying to make heads or tails of illegible notes from other doctors. Write a note about the patient, not totally knowing what my supervising doc really wants to do today with the patient. Repeat this for each of the 8 patients i am responsible for in the hospital. Be interrupted in this process by questions from nurses ranging from the banal to the insurmountable, usually covering any and every patient care topic not expressly covered in medical school. Talking to patients who talk amazingly slow, who smell bad, who are tragically unaware/ignorant of taking care of their own health.
It has becomed terribly difficult to connect to the "I just want to help people" aspect of medicine that we all had going into medical school. Whatever I personally had to offer with my charm is far outweighed and imbalanced by the difficulty of the science and procedure of health care. While I may be an intelligent and talented person, I often feel I am a burden to my supervisors, getting a few to many glances with smirks or furrrowed brows asking me, "Now where did you go to medical school?" These intellectual blows along with the frustrating patients who all too often reside in the margins of tolerability are making it a tired and sad era in my life right now.
Patients far too often hold a tragic flaw. Or perhaps a half dozen of them. Personal disregard (ie, smoking, fat), denial (fat, smoking), poor education, distrust of doctors, complete reliance upon doctors, addiction (fat, smoking, pain killers)...just to name a few. I would venture to say that maybe 1 of 8 patients is a reasonable, socially and hygenically aware, of moderate habits, negotiable, trusting...all at the same time. Even so, there is the idea of "What are you gonna do to fix up what I have screwed up?...And if you can't...or if you're wrong.........."
Of course not everyone is like that. But you would be surprised. And it has been very difficult for me to have much sympathy with these folks.
For the Christians out there, these are the beggars on the streets we see in the New Testament. These are the helpless and the exhausting people who were passed by. And now I can see why. Though some were certainly calloused and perhaps far from merciful, I imagine many of Jesus' entourage were incapable of helping the beggars and the sick.
They had no idea where to start with them, thinking, here we go again with the father bringing his kid to us again with the demon spells. Every day, begging for help, and what are we supposed to do.
And there's the local floozy, sleeps with any man who provides any semblance of a relationship even if the man's married, then comes to us when her heart has been broken or she's dumped on the street or she's sick and out of money or shelter.
Or...great, now we've got about a few hundred people following us around, somehow knowing exactly where we're going to be, knowing exactly where to sit outside the city to beg, expecting us to feed them. And they're only going to get pissed of when I tell them I can't help the way that I really want to help.
(Aside: Does anyone else see how amazing Jesus' feeding of the 5000 was in light of what's happening in New Orleans?)
All of this to say that, with the "all work, no play", the paralyzing weight of medical knowledge and expectation, the difficult patients...it's just been quite difficult lately.
And it's raining on my day off.
And I just found out that my vacation in two weeks has been denied...no vacation until February.
Saturday, September 03, 2005
It knows...
...the pager knows, Dave.
...the pager knows when you've just caught up...when you've just put your face on the flat, industrial grade pillow...
...it knows when the nurses are bored and paranoid...
...it knows when to start a run of V-tach...
...it knows when to make patients start pulling at IV lines...when to make them breathe "funny"...
...it knows when you've capped on your admissions and you are wanting to sleep the night away
...the pager knows when you've just caught up...when you've just put your face on the flat, industrial grade pillow...
...it knows when the nurses are bored and paranoid...
...it knows when to start a run of V-tach...
...it knows when to make patients start pulling at IV lines...when to make them breathe "funny"...
...it knows when you've capped on your admissions and you are wanting to sleep the night away
Sunday, August 21, 2005
My Longest Workday
You may or may not know that medical residents work long hours. As a resident you are routinely "on call" at the hospital, meaning you stay at the hospital all night, taking care of any overnight admissions, addressing patient issues, or fielding questions from nursing staff about patient care, putting out fires big and small. These call nights for me are about every 4-5 nights right now.
You also may or may not know that there has recently been enacted new legislation amongst residency programs set to limit the amount of hours a medical resident works in a week.
The new limit is a maximum of 80 hours per week. There must also be at least one 24 hour period in which the resident is not at the hospital or on call per week. One must also not be on duty for more than 30 continuous hours.
These regulations are averaged out over a month's work for the most part. For example you may work 90 hours one week and 70 another, which averages out to 80 hours.
Last week, I had my longest day of work to date. I arrived at the hospital early on Thursday morning--4:45 am--to see my 7 patients in time to see them and have enough time to travel to downtown to another hospital for Resident Conference at 7 am. Conference ended at noon, and I made it back to the first hospital, where I was on call that night. So I was at the hospital all night long, and got maybe 3 hrs of sleep. Got up and started seeing my patients at about 6 am. Our team rounded on all of our patients at 9am, and we finished around noon. Lunch was provided for us by a pharm sales rep, which I had to agree to attend, which extended my day to 1:00.
Add it up...32 hours on the job that day(s).
Long day...not unusual...better than it used to be just 4 years ago for medical residents. Praise the Lord!
You also may or may not know that there has recently been enacted new legislation amongst residency programs set to limit the amount of hours a medical resident works in a week.
The new limit is a maximum of 80 hours per week. There must also be at least one 24 hour period in which the resident is not at the hospital or on call per week. One must also not be on duty for more than 30 continuous hours.
These regulations are averaged out over a month's work for the most part. For example you may work 90 hours one week and 70 another, which averages out to 80 hours.
Last week, I had my longest day of work to date. I arrived at the hospital early on Thursday morning--4:45 am--to see my 7 patients in time to see them and have enough time to travel to downtown to another hospital for Resident Conference at 7 am. Conference ended at noon, and I made it back to the first hospital, where I was on call that night. So I was at the hospital all night long, and got maybe 3 hrs of sleep. Got up and started seeing my patients at about 6 am. Our team rounded on all of our patients at 9am, and we finished around noon. Lunch was provided for us by a pharm sales rep, which I had to agree to attend, which extended my day to 1:00.
Add it up...32 hours on the job that day(s).
Long day...not unusual...better than it used to be just 4 years ago for medical residents. Praise the Lord!
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Disturbing...
I wish we could take all of the money from PETA,
the money people spend on pet CPR,
and any of the excessive amounts of money we spend on pets
and use it to fix this crap,
to rehabilitate these kids,
and to punish those responsible...
...this is a bit graphic
http://newsok.com/article/1561355/?template=home/main
...just sick.......saddening..........maddening
There have been a couple of news segments where I have seen CPR courses for pets, and pet ambulances. I am bothered by this. While I think pets are great, this is getting ridiculous. It should be a policy that anyone who wishes to be certified or trained in pet CPR should first be required to learn and be certified in human CPR.
PETA...People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals...I really wish they would concern themselves more with the ethical treatment of humans. It may actually help their cause, since one of the signs of an abuser could be the way that they treat animals.
the money people spend on pet CPR,
and any of the excessive amounts of money we spend on pets
and use it to fix this crap,
to rehabilitate these kids,
and to punish those responsible...
...this is a bit graphic
http://newsok.com/article/1561355/?template=home/main
...just sick.......saddening..........maddening
There have been a couple of news segments where I have seen CPR courses for pets, and pet ambulances. I am bothered by this. While I think pets are great, this is getting ridiculous. It should be a policy that anyone who wishes to be certified or trained in pet CPR should first be required to learn and be certified in human CPR.
PETA...People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals...I really wish they would concern themselves more with the ethical treatment of humans. It may actually help their cause, since one of the signs of an abuser could be the way that they treat animals.
Monday, July 25, 2005
Back on the Blog
...I'm tired, not that I'm overworked. Just not sleeping soundly lately. And the stomach's kinda upset.
...Let's see--what has been going on lately?...Been working in the ER more. Had a few night shifts in a row.
...Had another incident where a patient was brought in all shot up, died, and I went home to learn more about it on the news.
...I did a lumbar puncture (spinal tap) for the first time. This involves placing a long needle into the lower back between two vertebrae and drawing out spinal fluid into tubes to check for infection. Actually did it pretty well. This kind of thing makes me think, what right do I have to be doing this to someone? What right do I have to do a rectal exam? Why do I get to/have to do a pelvic exam to look for koochie critters? What have I done to earn this right?...I went to med school, got an MD...paid out the wazoo for it too. And the people need me to do this to them in order that they get better. That's what you get in return for an education. It's just funny to me. Getting in is the hard part. Once you're in med school, it's just a matter of passing a crap load of tests. Then you get to do some crazy stuff to strangers.
...There was, however, one crazy guy on Saturday who refused the rectal exam. No bother.
...S...A...T-U-R...D-A-Y........NIGHT!!: A man came who was shot in the testicles. Worked overnight on Sat...kinda crazy. People are out and about on Saturdays, gettin' drunk, gettin' sad and close to suicide, passin' out on sidewalks, playin' with knives, shooting each other in the nuts.
...For some reason, we have grown too accustomed to violence in this world. I swear, someone is murdered here every day. People are scared for their lives in some neighborhoods. That must explain the need to carry a gun or a knife at all times. Where I came from, people got in fights, some nastier than others. But they would eventually be broken up, and the two boilers would simmer down, battered and bloody as they may be. But too often, someone ends up in this situation, and a gun is drawn or a knife is wielded, and people get killed. It's crazy. It's not in my mind to even think about carrying a gun around to protect myself. I'm not keen right now on the idea of having one in the house to protect the family (I'd rather spend tons o' cash on a super-duper alarm system). What has happened? How do these people afford the gun, the bullets? Priorities are out of whack. It makes me think that, in some places, having a gun is equally as important as having, say, cable television or a microwave oven. Sad.
...Also attending my service on Saturday was a guy who kept throwing up blood. You know, it sucks to throw up, but it must REALLY suck to throw up blood. I think I have a friend (is it Jerry?) who claims to have a ridiculously long streak of years of not throwing up. On Friday, I treated another someone whose body was ridding itself of all contents through the in door and the out door, out of both chutes. The ultimate act of defiance from your body. The body's saying, "WHAT THE HELL?!?!?...WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST PUT IN ME???" It's a wonder I haven't caught it...or have I?...I say that because my belly has been bothering me lately. Paranoia?
...Female doctors can be interesting studies. Not all, just some. From what I gather, nowadays close to 40-50% of doctors are female, quite a change in the last half century. Yet in the face of this, there are still some overly sensitive female doctors out there. Countless stories are told of female med students who round on a patient in the hospital only to be asked how long they have been in nursing school. (Two completely different things, if you didn't know.) Oh, how this gets under their skin! "Are you a nurse?" OH!...how insulting!........For some reason, some female docs get quite upset when a person makes this incorrect assumption, as if it's an insult. I say, take it easy. Probably 90% or more nurses are women. It's just a mistake of generalization, not a commentary on the proper place of women in society or an opinion on the ability of women to obtain professional status. Most certainly, it's not a personal attack on that person. It's just silly.
...Along those same lines, female med students (now doctors) who I went to school with would often bemoan their lacking dating life. No guys are asking them out. What's up with that? Well, the girls would often theorize that the guys they were meeting were intimidated by the fact that they were in medical school. That once they spilled the beans on their chosen occupation, the guys would become disinterested, as if the girl had just told them that their herpes is flaring up or something. I find all of that erroneous. I really can't see that many guys that I know being put off by a girl being in medical school, especially if he's interested enough to talk with her or approach her. Perhaps--I'm sorry--he's just not interested in asking you out. It has nothing to do with your being in medicine. It's actually more to do with chemistry or something. Okay, let's say it is true in some cases, that perhaps some men are shy of the female doctor due to some cause, be it earning potential, intelligence, etc. Even so, if he is put off by it, you don't want him around anyhow. He's probably a meat head, and that's not what a smart, gifted, driven, and entitled woman wants.
...Why does my Vornado spew air that smells like overused, hot electrical equipment? Has smelled like that from day one.
...Finally getting some of my wall hangings on the walls. Maybe I'll actually move in fully to this apartment, unlike my last one.
...Came home before lunch today. I was stopped by a news reporter and camera man as I was walking in to my apartment building. News reporter asks if I would like to speak on camera about the building next door that was torn down and how the contaminants were taken care of. I said I didn't know anything about it. Camera guy says that's the problem--no one does. I declined. Maybe that's why my stomach hurts.
...Good to hear from the OKC folks in the last two days. I've gotten two phone calls and an e-mail.
...My nephew knows my name. Well, my nickname--Tio, which is Spanish for "uncle." That's what he calls me. When I go to visit and I walk in the door, he starts running around saying, "Tio. Tio. Tio. Tio." Sometimes he'll run to the window, see my car and say, "Tio's truck." The other night, my brother Jake and I were playing with him. Caden says, "Ride Dada," and he climbs on Jake's back before being bucked onto the couch. Then he says, "Ride Tio," and I do the same, except instead of bucking, my limbs give out. He's lovin' it. "Ride Dada." "Ride Tio." It's nice to be known by this little guy. That evening was topped off by a beautiful smile from my 1-month old neice, Emery.
...Almost done with my first month. August brings new responsibilities. I begin work in the ICU at another hospital for one month. And I turn 29 next month...hmmph. I'm getting to be a grown-ass man.
...Let's see--what has been going on lately?...Been working in the ER more. Had a few night shifts in a row.
...Had another incident where a patient was brought in all shot up, died, and I went home to learn more about it on the news.
...I did a lumbar puncture (spinal tap) for the first time. This involves placing a long needle into the lower back between two vertebrae and drawing out spinal fluid into tubes to check for infection. Actually did it pretty well. This kind of thing makes me think, what right do I have to be doing this to someone? What right do I have to do a rectal exam? Why do I get to/have to do a pelvic exam to look for koochie critters? What have I done to earn this right?...I went to med school, got an MD...paid out the wazoo for it too. And the people need me to do this to them in order that they get better. That's what you get in return for an education. It's just funny to me. Getting in is the hard part. Once you're in med school, it's just a matter of passing a crap load of tests. Then you get to do some crazy stuff to strangers.
...There was, however, one crazy guy on Saturday who refused the rectal exam. No bother.
...S...A...T-U-R...D-A-Y........NIGHT!!: A man came who was shot in the testicles. Worked overnight on Sat...kinda crazy. People are out and about on Saturdays, gettin' drunk, gettin' sad and close to suicide, passin' out on sidewalks, playin' with knives, shooting each other in the nuts.
...For some reason, we have grown too accustomed to violence in this world. I swear, someone is murdered here every day. People are scared for their lives in some neighborhoods. That must explain the need to carry a gun or a knife at all times. Where I came from, people got in fights, some nastier than others. But they would eventually be broken up, and the two boilers would simmer down, battered and bloody as they may be. But too often, someone ends up in this situation, and a gun is drawn or a knife is wielded, and people get killed. It's crazy. It's not in my mind to even think about carrying a gun around to protect myself. I'm not keen right now on the idea of having one in the house to protect the family (I'd rather spend tons o' cash on a super-duper alarm system). What has happened? How do these people afford the gun, the bullets? Priorities are out of whack. It makes me think that, in some places, having a gun is equally as important as having, say, cable television or a microwave oven. Sad.
...Also attending my service on Saturday was a guy who kept throwing up blood. You know, it sucks to throw up, but it must REALLY suck to throw up blood. I think I have a friend (is it Jerry?) who claims to have a ridiculously long streak of years of not throwing up. On Friday, I treated another someone whose body was ridding itself of all contents through the in door and the out door, out of both chutes. The ultimate act of defiance from your body. The body's saying, "WHAT THE HELL?!?!?...WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST PUT IN ME???" It's a wonder I haven't caught it...or have I?...I say that because my belly has been bothering me lately. Paranoia?
...Female doctors can be interesting studies. Not all, just some. From what I gather, nowadays close to 40-50% of doctors are female, quite a change in the last half century. Yet in the face of this, there are still some overly sensitive female doctors out there. Countless stories are told of female med students who round on a patient in the hospital only to be asked how long they have been in nursing school. (Two completely different things, if you didn't know.) Oh, how this gets under their skin! "Are you a nurse?" OH!...how insulting!........For some reason, some female docs get quite upset when a person makes this incorrect assumption, as if it's an insult. I say, take it easy. Probably 90% or more nurses are women. It's just a mistake of generalization, not a commentary on the proper place of women in society or an opinion on the ability of women to obtain professional status. Most certainly, it's not a personal attack on that person. It's just silly.
...Along those same lines, female med students (now doctors) who I went to school with would often bemoan their lacking dating life. No guys are asking them out. What's up with that? Well, the girls would often theorize that the guys they were meeting were intimidated by the fact that they were in medical school. That once they spilled the beans on their chosen occupation, the guys would become disinterested, as if the girl had just told them that their herpes is flaring up or something. I find all of that erroneous. I really can't see that many guys that I know being put off by a girl being in medical school, especially if he's interested enough to talk with her or approach her. Perhaps--I'm sorry--he's just not interested in asking you out. It has nothing to do with your being in medicine. It's actually more to do with chemistry or something. Okay, let's say it is true in some cases, that perhaps some men are shy of the female doctor due to some cause, be it earning potential, intelligence, etc. Even so, if he is put off by it, you don't want him around anyhow. He's probably a meat head, and that's not what a smart, gifted, driven, and entitled woman wants.
...Why does my Vornado spew air that smells like overused, hot electrical equipment? Has smelled like that from day one.
...Finally getting some of my wall hangings on the walls. Maybe I'll actually move in fully to this apartment, unlike my last one.
...Came home before lunch today. I was stopped by a news reporter and camera man as I was walking in to my apartment building. News reporter asks if I would like to speak on camera about the building next door that was torn down and how the contaminants were taken care of. I said I didn't know anything about it. Camera guy says that's the problem--no one does. I declined. Maybe that's why my stomach hurts.
...Good to hear from the OKC folks in the last two days. I've gotten two phone calls and an e-mail.
...My nephew knows my name. Well, my nickname--Tio, which is Spanish for "uncle." That's what he calls me. When I go to visit and I walk in the door, he starts running around saying, "Tio. Tio. Tio. Tio." Sometimes he'll run to the window, see my car and say, "Tio's truck." The other night, my brother Jake and I were playing with him. Caden says, "Ride Dada," and he climbs on Jake's back before being bucked onto the couch. Then he says, "Ride Tio," and I do the same, except instead of bucking, my limbs give out. He's lovin' it. "Ride Dada." "Ride Tio." It's nice to be known by this little guy. That evening was topped off by a beautiful smile from my 1-month old neice, Emery.
...Almost done with my first month. August brings new responsibilities. I begin work in the ICU at another hospital for one month. And I turn 29 next month...hmmph. I'm getting to be a grown-ass man.
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Music, lately
Soul Coughing...They've been broken up for a little while now. The lyrics are often nonsense/artsy/beat poet kind of stuff. But they're smooth. I love the way they were recorded. The drums sound great at times. And the bass is most often an upright bass. The keyboard sounds are unconvential, to my liking.
Morcheeba, Portishead, Tricky, Massive Attack...With Napster, I can create a 4 hour playlist of music that is related to artists that I like. So what I'll do is select those four and see what comes up. These are my favorite slow-beat, trip-hop artists. Slower than the music blaring from Banana Republic. But just as urban hipster.
Elbow, Elliott Smith, Shins, Doves...just another plug for these folks.
BTW...uncovered an old song by a group called Talk Talk called "It's My Life." It started playing, and I swore I recognized it. Turns out that No Doubt did this song--it's actually a remake. I liked the No Doubt version. The original by Talk Talk is done by a British dude. A well done remake by No Doubt.
Morcheeba, Portishead, Tricky, Massive Attack...With Napster, I can create a 4 hour playlist of music that is related to artists that I like. So what I'll do is select those four and see what comes up. These are my favorite slow-beat, trip-hop artists. Slower than the music blaring from Banana Republic. But just as urban hipster.
Elbow, Elliott Smith, Shins, Doves...just another plug for these folks.
BTW...uncovered an old song by a group called Talk Talk called "It's My Life." It started playing, and I swore I recognized it. Turns out that No Doubt did this song--it's actually a remake. I liked the No Doubt version. The original by Talk Talk is done by a British dude. A well done remake by No Doubt.
Friday, July 08, 2005
Changing Vision
As I was driving from work yesterday, I passed a car driving in the opposite direction. The driver, I noticed, was stopped at an intersection with a passenger next to her. The driver’s left eye was covered with a bandage. The passenger had nothing obstructing her eyes.
*****
I stopped later at the grocery store to pick up a few things. Walking from my car to the store, I saw a tall, high-waisted man, suspenders traveling over his plump belly supporting his forest green pants, with a navy blue based plaid shirt and a black, mesh cap on his head. He walked out of the store, turned to his right to enter the parking lot. I saw, in the corner of my eye as I passed him, his arm suddenly flail in a ballistic way as he nearly lost his balance after knicking his toe on a bit of sidewalk jutting only an inch from the rest. Arms extended, he was reaching for anything to catch himself. Fortunately, he caught himself.
*****
In the grocery store, I retrieved a shopping cart and headed inside. Obstructing my path in the entry aisle was a man wearing a white sweatshirt, white baseball cap with long brown hair flowing from the back…and knitted, white cotton gloves, gently searching with his hands through the greeting cards.
*****
Everyday things begin to take on new significance when you’re in medicine. What immediately entered my mind as I saw the man trying to prevent his fall was the beginning of the recitation of his medical history.
“…66 year old man is here today with a complaint of ‘hip pain.’ He was brought to the ER after he fell in the parking lot of a grocery store. He reports that he fell on his left side and felt immediate hip pain. He denies any light headedness or dizziness, stating that he tripped on the sidewalk. Denies loss of consciousness. Has history of diabetes, high blood pressure, and arthritis. Smokes 1-2 pack/day of cigarettes…”
He was, in my mind, a potential patient. A bit unkempt. Typical dazed look on his face. Odd shaped body. Does not really know what medications he is taking, but takes them all every morning.
The lady driving, in my mind, was the patient who just left the clinic, who has been satiated for her eye trouble, but does not let anything change what she does. She listens to discharge instructions, but doesn’t follow them. She gets only 2 of the 4 medications filled that she was prescribed. She’s gonna continue smoking, even if her eye problems are a direct result of it. When you give her all these instructions and have reasonably soothed her pain, she seems to be gracious and willing to abide. But she doesn’t…and she’ll bitch to her friends and family that the doctor tried to fix it but it didn’t work.
The guy with the gloves brings home the fact that the patients from the psych ward are all around us. The ones who stopped taking their psych meds, leading to relapse of psychosis, leading to exposing himself to a school bus full of children as instructed by “Paul,” leading to his one month hospital stay, which leads to his stabilization, leading to his release from the hospital, back to his home, where he eventually stops taking his medications again, and the first sign is that he’s wearing lots of white and knitted white cotton gloves to cope with his obsessive-compulsive disorder in my grocery store. They’re all around.
Don’t get me wrong…I believe in the validity of mental health illnesses as just that—something that can be treated.
But…they’re all around.
*****
I stopped later at the grocery store to pick up a few things. Walking from my car to the store, I saw a tall, high-waisted man, suspenders traveling over his plump belly supporting his forest green pants, with a navy blue based plaid shirt and a black, mesh cap on his head. He walked out of the store, turned to his right to enter the parking lot. I saw, in the corner of my eye as I passed him, his arm suddenly flail in a ballistic way as he nearly lost his balance after knicking his toe on a bit of sidewalk jutting only an inch from the rest. Arms extended, he was reaching for anything to catch himself. Fortunately, he caught himself.
*****
In the grocery store, I retrieved a shopping cart and headed inside. Obstructing my path in the entry aisle was a man wearing a white sweatshirt, white baseball cap with long brown hair flowing from the back…and knitted, white cotton gloves, gently searching with his hands through the greeting cards.
*****
Everyday things begin to take on new significance when you’re in medicine. What immediately entered my mind as I saw the man trying to prevent his fall was the beginning of the recitation of his medical history.
“…66 year old man is here today with a complaint of ‘hip pain.’ He was brought to the ER after he fell in the parking lot of a grocery store. He reports that he fell on his left side and felt immediate hip pain. He denies any light headedness or dizziness, stating that he tripped on the sidewalk. Denies loss of consciousness. Has history of diabetes, high blood pressure, and arthritis. Smokes 1-2 pack/day of cigarettes…”
He was, in my mind, a potential patient. A bit unkempt. Typical dazed look on his face. Odd shaped body. Does not really know what medications he is taking, but takes them all every morning.
The lady driving, in my mind, was the patient who just left the clinic, who has been satiated for her eye trouble, but does not let anything change what she does. She listens to discharge instructions, but doesn’t follow them. She gets only 2 of the 4 medications filled that she was prescribed. She’s gonna continue smoking, even if her eye problems are a direct result of it. When you give her all these instructions and have reasonably soothed her pain, she seems to be gracious and willing to abide. But she doesn’t…and she’ll bitch to her friends and family that the doctor tried to fix it but it didn’t work.
The guy with the gloves brings home the fact that the patients from the psych ward are all around us. The ones who stopped taking their psych meds, leading to relapse of psychosis, leading to exposing himself to a school bus full of children as instructed by “Paul,” leading to his one month hospital stay, which leads to his stabilization, leading to his release from the hospital, back to his home, where he eventually stops taking his medications again, and the first sign is that he’s wearing lots of white and knitted white cotton gloves to cope with his obsessive-compulsive disorder in my grocery store. They’re all around.
Don’t get me wrong…I believe in the validity of mental health illnesses as just that—something that can be treated.
But…they’re all around.
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Emily's Word World #4
Naming this string of posts in honor of the beautiful Emily, though earnest in intent, does not do her justice as a monument to what I think of her. If i was a early pioneer or explorer, I would name a hill or a mountain or a river, or an extensive expanse of scenic landscape after her. Alas, she gets the Word World--a tribute to the inner nerd in all of us, and the inner nerd in her that I love dearly.
mnemonic
mne·mon·ic (n-mnk)adj.
Relating to, assisting,
or intended to assist
the memory.n.
A device, such as a formula or
rhyme, used as an aid in
remembering.
This word was mispronounced this morning by my boss during her lecture (a very helpful lecture, mind you). She pronounced it "noomonic."
This I can understand in light of her being a medical professional, as our lexicon includes many words beginning with the prefix "pneumo-," referring to "air," or "lungs." But I think I've heard it elsewhere, whether that was in medical arenas or not--I don't recall.
(FYI: "pneuma" is the biblical greek word for "spirit," as well. So all of our references to air and breathing are rooted in the idea of a spirit. Think also of breathing in as "inspiration," breathing out as "expire." Death, in medicine, is recorded as "time of expiration." The idea of "spirit" as "air," related to each other by having to do with breathing. For all you Christians, this is an interesting way to listen to the song that begins with, "This is the air I breathe...Your holy spirit/living in me.")
Of course there are certain procedures of pronunciation to remember with silent first letters, as we have here with the leading "mn-"...which reminds me of yet another medically related mispronunciation...or actually, incorrect assumption of pronunciation.
"Dyspnea," is a medical word used to described difficulty with breathing. Note the "pnea," portion which is related to the above "pneumo-/air" discussion. When you speak greek, a word like "pneuma," is pronounced by forming the "p" with your lips, and then saying "neuma." You don't say, "pa-nooma." It should sound more like "nooma," but by simply forming the "p" with your lips, you achieve the subtlety of its pronunciation. The greek equivalents of "p" and "n" in greek are "pi" and "nu"--two separate letters, unlike "psi," the first greek letter, like in "psychology."
Anyway...So, this supervising doctor of mine in med school who was a pulmonologist (lung doctor) corrected one of the residents pronunciation of "dyspnea" while on rounds one day. The resident had said it as, "disp-nee-a." She told him that it should be pronounced, "diss-nee-a," because it should be just like "pneumonia" (when spoken fast, sounds like "noo-moan-ya").
But the resident was right, according to what I learned about greek in college. It's not so much a silent "p" as much as it is a subtle "p" sound. Certainly, it shouldn't be left out, in my opinion.
I will allow for exceptions. I will not go around using the subtle "p" before "psychiatry," or "pneumonia." I'd get laughed at...and I'm a tender little guy.
Back to "mnemonic"...the error was saying "noomonic," and not "nemonic." Using the subtle "m" in this case would be correct, but I will not insist upon it.
That is all, class...
Signed,
Sam's Inner Nerd
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Li'l bits...
...Today I attended a class about neonatal resuscitation held a room called the "Youngblood Conference Room."...terrible.
...Latest music on the PC via Napster: lots of Elliott Smith; the Shins; Son Volt.
...Watching local news the other night & found out my apartment building was burglarized 3 days after I moved in. Two individuals broke in through the front door, went to the club room, and stole 2 computers. Of course, I didn't hear a word about this except from the news.
...Speaking of news, Kansas City seems to be a high crime city. Or the news here is too sensationalized. They love car wrecks. There have now been 60 murders this year.
...Speaking of car wrecks, saw on the news today a blip about an unsolved hit & run on Sunday night that left a man with critical wounds. Guess who was in the ER where he was taken?
...Why am I watching so much local news? I have forsaken cable TV in lieu of cash savings. Network television sucks. Especially when you're watching in bed trying to get sleepy. Channel surfing is more like boogey-boarding.
...Happy to be in a baseball town. Went to a Royals game on the 4th--by myself (see "Introversion"). Had a nice time. Nice park here. Looking forward to Buck Night, where hot dogs, peanuts, and small Pepsi are each $1. Too bad the team is reheally bad.
...Latest music on the PC via Napster: lots of Elliott Smith; the Shins; Son Volt.
...Watching local news the other night & found out my apartment building was burglarized 3 days after I moved in. Two individuals broke in through the front door, went to the club room, and stole 2 computers. Of course, I didn't hear a word about this except from the news.
...Speaking of news, Kansas City seems to be a high crime city. Or the news here is too sensationalized. They love car wrecks. There have now been 60 murders this year.
...Speaking of car wrecks, saw on the news today a blip about an unsolved hit & run on Sunday night that left a man with critical wounds. Guess who was in the ER where he was taken?
...Why am I watching so much local news? I have forsaken cable TV in lieu of cash savings. Network television sucks. Especially when you're watching in bed trying to get sleepy. Channel surfing is more like boogey-boarding.
...Happy to be in a baseball town. Went to a Royals game on the 4th--by myself (see "Introversion"). Had a nice time. Nice park here. Looking forward to Buck Night, where hot dogs, peanuts, and small Pepsi are each $1. Too bad the team is reheally bad.
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Emily's Word World #3
I must now archive an instance when I was corrected by the lovely and intelligent Emily.
Liberal v. Conservative
This is a post from another website written by a college friend of mine by the name of W. Clayton Nunnally:
One thing that bothers me is when people apply either of these two labels inappropriately or when they mean something else but for some reasons use one of the two labels.
I bring this up today because the supreme court ruling re: immenent domain provides a great example of the actual meaning and the difference between the two. And because Tom Friedman, a fantastic author, uses the term Liberal interchangebly with 'progressive' (and that bothers or confuses me).
I have the impresssion, valid or not, that conservative or liberal applies to one's opinion on how much government (generally federal) should be applied. I can only see this meaning in reference to something else, i.e. "economically liberal/conservative". My understanding would be that a conservative thinking person would believe the government would be better with less "knobs" on the nations economy, a liberal thinking: more knobs.
Then people throw these terms around and automatically attach 'conservative' to the adjective 'Christian' when there is no need for it.Friedman calls Islamic fundamentalist in Iran "conservative" when they actually have knobs on every goddamn aspect of a society. And he speaks of 'liberals' in the same place when he actually means 'progressive'.
Even more generally, people who think they are liberals use the word 'conservative' when they want to say 'bad'. And vice versa with 'conservatives'. Conclusion: The learning of definitions of words "second hand" or by inapropriate context leads to an avalanche of inappropriate usage. This also leave many people misrepresenting thier political ideology because they attribute false meaning to these two terms.
And yes, this is along the same lines as my problem with the usage of "Literally". I hope you notice both cases of misusage from now on.
Well said. Oddly enough, this misuse was the basis of the first communication problem I ever had with the beautiful Emily. She was trying to correct my usage of the terms, along the lines of the above writing. I became frustrated 1) because I was wrong and felt foolish for being inaccurate for all my adult life, and 2) she was right and very sure of it.
Liberal v. Conservative
This is a post from another website written by a college friend of mine by the name of W. Clayton Nunnally:
One thing that bothers me is when people apply either of these two labels inappropriately or when they mean something else but for some reasons use one of the two labels.
I bring this up today because the supreme court ruling re: immenent domain provides a great example of the actual meaning and the difference between the two. And because Tom Friedman, a fantastic author, uses the term Liberal interchangebly with 'progressive' (and that bothers or confuses me).
I have the impresssion, valid or not, that conservative or liberal applies to one's opinion on how much government (generally federal) should be applied. I can only see this meaning in reference to something else, i.e. "economically liberal/conservative". My understanding would be that a conservative thinking person would believe the government would be better with less "knobs" on the nations economy, a liberal thinking: more knobs.
Then people throw these terms around and automatically attach 'conservative' to the adjective 'Christian' when there is no need for it.Friedman calls Islamic fundamentalist in Iran "conservative" when they actually have knobs on every goddamn aspect of a society. And he speaks of 'liberals' in the same place when he actually means 'progressive'.
Even more generally, people who think they are liberals use the word 'conservative' when they want to say 'bad'. And vice versa with 'conservatives'. Conclusion: The learning of definitions of words "second hand" or by inapropriate context leads to an avalanche of inappropriate usage. This also leave many people misrepresenting thier political ideology because they attribute false meaning to these two terms.
And yes, this is along the same lines as my problem with the usage of "Literally". I hope you notice both cases of misusage from now on.
Well said. Oddly enough, this misuse was the basis of the first communication problem I ever had with the beautiful Emily. She was trying to correct my usage of the terms, along the lines of the above writing. I became frustrated 1) because I was wrong and felt foolish for being inaccurate for all my adult life, and 2) she was right and very sure of it.
Saturday, July 02, 2005
Emily's Word World #2
peripheral
She's seething now as she reads this posting, because, for all of the glorious orthodoxy with which my lovely Emily speaks the English language, she regresses to the masses with this one. I have been coaching her on it, too. However, she's not to blame, since this may be one of the most used misspoken words I hear.
per IFF er all
NOT: per IFF ee all
When spelled, the second version should be "periphial." However, note that "peripheral" is not spelled, "periphial."
per IFF er all
Things lie out in the "periphery," not the "peripheeeey."
That's all. And you know I still love ya, babe.
She's seething now as she reads this posting, because, for all of the glorious orthodoxy with which my lovely Emily speaks the English language, she regresses to the masses with this one. I have been coaching her on it, too. However, she's not to blame, since this may be one of the most used misspoken words I hear.
per IFF er all
NOT: per IFF ee all
When spelled, the second version should be "periphial." However, note that "peripheral" is not spelled, "periphial."
per IFF er all
Things lie out in the "periphery," not the "peripheeeey."
That's all. And you know I still love ya, babe.
First Day
Okay…so today was my first day as Dr. Caire, officially. I worked from 10am to 6pm in the emergency department, where I will be working this first month.
My day began with a workout downstairs in the gym, followed by a “working” breakfast, where I was eating and getting all of my stuff ready for the day at the same time—kinda like how all those people act in commercials about products that are “time-saving.” I got all my pens in my pockets. My new Zire handheld device. My cell phone in new clip. Strapped on my new scrubs and took my new long white lab coat off the hanger. Got my lunch together. Grabbed a few pocket references, my new courier bag (man bag), my keys, and I was on my way.
What’s your big fear on the first day?...being late. Well, I got to the campus at 9:38 and promptly found the parking garage. I wound my way over to the hospital though the walkovers and mazes of hallways and realized I didn’t really know where I was in the hospital. So now I’m sweating, because I really wanted to be there a little early, but that wasn’t going to happen. Fortunately I bumped into a security man, and he directed me to the ED. I set my stuff down, and put my coat on, and entered the ED to begin my career…with sweat on my brow, at 9:53am.
It was a bit weird, my entry into the ED. I’m one of the doctors, the head honchos. I’ll be making things happen here. Yet none of the nurses, staff, or even my fellow residents or attendings know who I am as I stroll through. They don’t recognize me yet. But I’m about to be working side by side wih all of them to start some healing.
Dr. "B" was my upper level today. He appears to be at home in this job. He has learned multi-tasking, as he was able to write patient notes, look at chest x-rays, and explain to me how to find past calcium levels and ECG readings on the computer all at the same time. I’m guessing I’ll learn that, too. After he had oriented me to how things would operate, I had my first patient.
I haven’t interviewed or examined a patient since March—over 3 months ago. I introduced myself for the first time as “Dr. Caire,” which so tremendously self-assuring I cannot explain. I stumbled through the history and physical, ended up ordering some x-rays, wrote prescriptions, all of which required my signature and approval—once again, as “ORDERING PHYSICIAN: SCaire.” Hmph…kinda neat…I have arrived…somewhere, at least.
Today was a good day. They have lightened our patient load while we acquaint ourselves with the system and the way things work. I felt pretty confident near the end of the day, but that’s somewhat false, because one of these days I’m gonna get nailed by a case that stumps me. That’s expected. But today felt good. My attendings were helpful, and I think I’m gonna be all right.
I had just discharged my sixth patient of the day when my shift ended. No patients left over for the next shift from me. And then I left. No attachments. Time to go home and relax for a little while. Kick back and enjoy the fact that it was a good day. Now, I’ll have to improve on my pace some more. But it was a good first day…and I have very much to learn.
My day began with a workout downstairs in the gym, followed by a “working” breakfast, where I was eating and getting all of my stuff ready for the day at the same time—kinda like how all those people act in commercials about products that are “time-saving.” I got all my pens in my pockets. My new Zire handheld device. My cell phone in new clip. Strapped on my new scrubs and took my new long white lab coat off the hanger. Got my lunch together. Grabbed a few pocket references, my new courier bag (man bag), my keys, and I was on my way.
What’s your big fear on the first day?...being late. Well, I got to the campus at 9:38 and promptly found the parking garage. I wound my way over to the hospital though the walkovers and mazes of hallways and realized I didn’t really know where I was in the hospital. So now I’m sweating, because I really wanted to be there a little early, but that wasn’t going to happen. Fortunately I bumped into a security man, and he directed me to the ED. I set my stuff down, and put my coat on, and entered the ED to begin my career…with sweat on my brow, at 9:53am.
It was a bit weird, my entry into the ED. I’m one of the doctors, the head honchos. I’ll be making things happen here. Yet none of the nurses, staff, or even my fellow residents or attendings know who I am as I stroll through. They don’t recognize me yet. But I’m about to be working side by side wih all of them to start some healing.
Dr. "B" was my upper level today. He appears to be at home in this job. He has learned multi-tasking, as he was able to write patient notes, look at chest x-rays, and explain to me how to find past calcium levels and ECG readings on the computer all at the same time. I’m guessing I’ll learn that, too. After he had oriented me to how things would operate, I had my first patient.
I haven’t interviewed or examined a patient since March—over 3 months ago. I introduced myself for the first time as “Dr. Caire,” which so tremendously self-assuring I cannot explain. I stumbled through the history and physical, ended up ordering some x-rays, wrote prescriptions, all of which required my signature and approval—once again, as “ORDERING PHYSICIAN: SCaire.” Hmph…kinda neat…I have arrived…somewhere, at least.
Today was a good day. They have lightened our patient load while we acquaint ourselves with the system and the way things work. I felt pretty confident near the end of the day, but that’s somewhat false, because one of these days I’m gonna get nailed by a case that stumps me. That’s expected. But today felt good. My attendings were helpful, and I think I’m gonna be all right.
I had just discharged my sixth patient of the day when my shift ended. No patients left over for the next shift from me. And then I left. No attachments. Time to go home and relax for a little while. Kick back and enjoy the fact that it was a good day. Now, I’ll have to improve on my pace some more. But it was a good first day…and I have very much to learn.
Friday, July 01, 2005
Introversion
So I’ve got the day off. This is one of those days that I’m gonna have to get used to now that I’m here in KC. I haven’t directly interacted with more than maybe 3 people. I have talked on the telephone with a few, but person to person contact has been limited to less than three. On recollection—a girl at the coffee shop…........maybe that’s it. I worked out this morning…nobody else was in the gym downstairs. I worked on the computer for most of this morning, nobody else in the apartment. (howling dog next door noted) I went to the coffee shop around 2pm to do some studying. I left there, came home, and have been here since. Planning on staying here, too—more studying to do. What’s funny is that I’m not miserable at all. Perhaps a touch—I do miss my Emmy. I am lonesome enough to notice my nearly complete isolation, but not sad about it. It’s Friday night, and I note that only because, since I’m below 30 years old, I should probably be out and about tonight. But I don’t have any friends tempting me to get out there to go to a bar or anything else. Doesn’t really bother me. I know some people who could not stand a day like I’ve had today. Likewise, I have a low tolerance for a day when I’m around people from sunrise to sunset. Tomorrow is highlighted by work, where I will reacquaint myself with the human race.
Thursday, June 30, 2005
The Work Begins
For the last three days, residency has been terribly boring, with orientations that are far too long. Monday and Tuesday were very long—conferences from 7:30 am until 6 pm at the Embassy Suites hotel. Stuck in one room all day, talking about benefits, insurance, policies, privacy, and some other topics of questionable relevance at this time. Though I would prefer it to being thrown immediately into work, these orientations were too long. Not many highlights to speak of.
We got our schedules today, the day before the month begins. We just got our ID’s and parking permits today as well. I had to go and buy a set of scrubs and a lab coat—had to buy my own uniform. Seems like these things should have been taken care of for us. July 1 is our first day of work, and I have the day off. Don’t do any ED work until the 2nd. They are starting us off gently, only working us 10 shifts in the ED, with several more training courses schedule for us during the month to occupy our time, including ATLS, PALS, ACLS Instructor, and probably a few others.
In the ED, we’ll be concentrating mainly on Fast Track cases, which are more “bread and butter” types of emergencies—not life threatening. Even so, I am scared when I left myself dwell on it. Part of it is the fact that I’m the doctor and I’m signing off on the treatment of these individuals starting Saturday. I’m culpable. I am in charge of the assessment, diagnosis, treatment and discharge of these sick people. If someone has a cut finger, I’m gonna have to clean it and sew it up, which I’ve only done once or twice. If they have a broken finger, I’ll have to splint it, which I’ve never done. I think I could spot a bladder infection, but I’m not sure what antibiotic to give. If a baby comes in with a rash, I might as well walk right out of the room. And let’s hope the kid doesn’t have a mild temperature.
Add to this lack of knowledge my own desires and expectations of capability. I want to make a good impression and show my new bosses and co-workers that I am going to be a strong doctor. But I’m clueless and my skills are rusty if not deficient. I don’t know how I’m going to make a good impression on these people. As a student I could try to feign confidence, knowing that it was expected for the doctors to have to correct me and that what I said or did had little bearing on what really happened to the patient. Not anymore.
I’m nervous right now, thinking that I have no idea what to do if someone’s having a heart attack.
Then there’s also the paperwork. Just like any other job, the beginning is rough as you grow accustomed to the routines and logistics and how things are run. I anticipate lots of screw ups with paperwork, aside from knowing how to sign my own name…which carries its own burdens...(sigh)...(see above)...ahh, funny that sometimes worry and stress is so cyclical and yet so inert.
We got our schedules today, the day before the month begins. We just got our ID’s and parking permits today as well. I had to go and buy a set of scrubs and a lab coat—had to buy my own uniform. Seems like these things should have been taken care of for us. July 1 is our first day of work, and I have the day off. Don’t do any ED work until the 2nd. They are starting us off gently, only working us 10 shifts in the ED, with several more training courses schedule for us during the month to occupy our time, including ATLS, PALS, ACLS Instructor, and probably a few others.
In the ED, we’ll be concentrating mainly on Fast Track cases, which are more “bread and butter” types of emergencies—not life threatening. Even so, I am scared when I left myself dwell on it. Part of it is the fact that I’m the doctor and I’m signing off on the treatment of these individuals starting Saturday. I’m culpable. I am in charge of the assessment, diagnosis, treatment and discharge of these sick people. If someone has a cut finger, I’m gonna have to clean it and sew it up, which I’ve only done once or twice. If they have a broken finger, I’ll have to splint it, which I’ve never done. I think I could spot a bladder infection, but I’m not sure what antibiotic to give. If a baby comes in with a rash, I might as well walk right out of the room. And let’s hope the kid doesn’t have a mild temperature.
Add to this lack of knowledge my own desires and expectations of capability. I want to make a good impression and show my new bosses and co-workers that I am going to be a strong doctor. But I’m clueless and my skills are rusty if not deficient. I don’t know how I’m going to make a good impression on these people. As a student I could try to feign confidence, knowing that it was expected for the doctors to have to correct me and that what I said or did had little bearing on what really happened to the patient. Not anymore.
I’m nervous right now, thinking that I have no idea what to do if someone’s having a heart attack.
Then there’s also the paperwork. Just like any other job, the beginning is rough as you grow accustomed to the routines and logistics and how things are run. I anticipate lots of screw ups with paperwork, aside from knowing how to sign my own name…which carries its own burdens...(sigh)...(see above)...ahh, funny that sometimes worry and stress is so cyclical and yet so inert.
Friday, June 24, 2005
Emily's Word World, #1
My beautiful girlfriend, Emily, loves words and language and correct grammar...thus, I am beginning a line of thoughts classified under "Emily's Word World," which will be dedicated to words, their misuse, mispronunciation, misinterpretation, etc. Here is the first
comfortable
Studying it reveals a 4-syllable word...com-fort-a-bull
Yet everyone says...comf-ter-bull
Three syllables, AND the "er" and "t" are switched.
If we need to drop a syllable, we should more appropriately say...comf-ta-bull
I've done this in front of Emily before, and she immediately stops my train of thought, saying, Wait!...say that again."
I know what she's getting at...
..."I said, 'I'm not comftabull with your picking up on all my idiosyncracies.'"
comfortable
Studying it reveals a 4-syllable word...com-fort-a-bull
Yet everyone says...comf-ter-bull
Three syllables, AND the "er" and "t" are switched.
If we need to drop a syllable, we should more appropriately say...comf-ta-bull
I've done this in front of Emily before, and she immediately stops my train of thought, saying, Wait!...say that again."
I know what she's getting at...
..."I said, 'I'm not comftabull with your picking up on all my idiosyncracies.'"
ACK...AAHack hack...
Just dustin' off the keyboard to post briefly on this blog.
I'm now in KC--CPR certified, and, this afternoon, will be certified to restart someone's heart if I have to. Not as thrilling as you'd think. Actually, my imagination makes it terribly frightening--the responsibility and all.
Livin' in a cool downtown loft with nice hardwood floors, with a schmancy black table displaying some of the handiwork of JBergin. No wall hangings are up yet. I'm scared to disturb the neighbors. Of course, I could just go knock on their door and introduce myself, but that's too much right now. Will wait for the wknd.
Here's my current contact e-mail: samcaire@hotmail.com
If you e-mail, I'll send my phone # to you if I know you.
Back to the studying/training...I'll post more later if I get inspired.
Sam
I'm now in KC--CPR certified, and, this afternoon, will be certified to restart someone's heart if I have to. Not as thrilling as you'd think. Actually, my imagination makes it terribly frightening--the responsibility and all.
Livin' in a cool downtown loft with nice hardwood floors, with a schmancy black table displaying some of the handiwork of JBergin. No wall hangings are up yet. I'm scared to disturb the neighbors. Of course, I could just go knock on their door and introduce myself, but that's too much right now. Will wait for the wknd.
Here's my current contact e-mail: samcaire@hotmail.com
If you e-mail, I'll send my phone # to you if I know you.
Back to the studying/training...I'll post more later if I get inspired.
Sam
Friday, April 29, 2005
Vin Diesel
Go to this website for facts about Vin Diesel...click refresh to view another...
http://www.4q.cc/vin/
http://www.4q.cc/vin/
Friday, March 18, 2005
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Kansas City here I come!!!
...Found out today that I have been hired as a resident at Truman Medical Center in Kansas City beginning in July.
Thanks to those who read this for the encouragement, thoughts, and prayers.
Thanks to those who read this for the encouragement, thoughts, and prayers.
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
days
everyday
i fail
everyday
is a new challenge
everyday
people can be fooled
everyday
yesterday is done
everyday
increases my age
everyday
is a deadline
everyday
is a new to-do list
everyday
i hurt a little
everyday
i forget something
everyday
do you expect something
everyday
i let you down
everyday
my soul is self-defiant
everyday
empty verbage
everyday
i get up again
i don't talk to you
everyday
you probably miss me
everyday
i need help
everyday
you wait for me to turn
everyday
there is an opportunity
everyday
i am myself
everyday
you love myself
everyday
my errors are witnessed
everyday
i can learn
everyday
intervention can happen
everyday
clean slates created
everyday
be with me
everyday
even if i ignore you
everyday
i need you
everyday
meet me halfway
everyday
meet me most of the way
everyday
i'm closer to peace
everyday
even if i don't feel it
everyday
you miss me
everyday
beside me
every day
can i have a feeling
everyday
can you direct me
everyday
you can overcome me
everyday
i fail
everyday
is a new challenge
everyday
people can be fooled
everyday
yesterday is done
everyday
increases my age
everyday
is a deadline
everyday
is a new to-do list
everyday
i hurt a little
everyday
i forget something
everyday
do you expect something
everyday
i let you down
everyday
my soul is self-defiant
everyday
empty verbage
everyday
i get up again
i don't talk to you
everyday
you probably miss me
everyday
i need help
everyday
you wait for me to turn
everyday
there is an opportunity
everyday
i am myself
everyday
you love myself
everyday
my errors are witnessed
everyday
i can learn
everyday
intervention can happen
everyday
clean slates created
everyday
be with me
everyday
even if i ignore you
everyday
i need you
everyday
meet me halfway
everyday
meet me most of the way
everyday
i'm closer to peace
everyday
even if i don't feel it
everyday
you miss me
everyday
beside me
every day
can i have a feeling
everyday
can you direct me
everyday
you can overcome me
everyday
Monday, February 07, 2005
Mockery
You become that which you mock...
...So, then, I am destined, by reviewing my last post, that I will be fat.
If it weren't already so apparent that I am destined for weight problems, I may have more to say.
Perhaps I should try to soften up my heart and not get as annoyed at folks.
Maybe I should smile more at them...give them a hand...pat 'em on the back.
WWJD?...sheesh...not what I usually do.
...So, then, I am destined, by reviewing my last post, that I will be fat.
If it weren't already so apparent that I am destined for weight problems, I may have more to say.
Perhaps I should try to soften up my heart and not get as annoyed at folks.
Maybe I should smile more at them...give them a hand...pat 'em on the back.
WWJD?...sheesh...not what I usually do.
Friday, January 28, 2005
Know Thyself
If I could wish one thing upon all people in this world, it would be greater self-awareness. After I introduce this and give some examples, you will see that this is a multi-layered issue that is in an abundant need of improvement in our world.
Self awareness...It is knowing your physical, emotional, and social self. It is knowing you are a part of a bigger picture, that your actions affect other people.
Examples of people with a lack of self-awareness:
...Loud cell phone talkers.
...People who cuss on those public cell phone coversations.
...Too many carry-on items on the plane (see previous post)
...Body odor.
...Grandma perfume.
...Fat people on airplanes.
...People who, for some reason, cannot whisper, but just talk in normal voice more "quietly."
...Loud talkers.
...Close talkers.
...Soft talkers.
...Slow walkers (often multiple and fat) in malls who take up the entire width of the "lane."
...People who leave their blinker on.
...People who are looking around at anything but the stoplight when it changes to green.
...People in front at the stoplight in the far right lane who aren't going to turn right, while people behind them want to turn right.
...Babies who cry at bad times. (that's not fair, is it?)
...Cell phones in movie theaters that ring--and then answered by those people.
...People who haven't figured out that you can quickly press a button to stop the ringing cell phone without hanging up on a person.
...People who give with expectation.
...Unemployed, fat smokers who are sick.
...People who write ads for car dealerships.
...People with huge, untended boils/wounds/abscesses/toenails/feet.
There are many...many...more.
Self awareness...It is knowing your physical, emotional, and social self. It is knowing you are a part of a bigger picture, that your actions affect other people.
Examples of people with a lack of self-awareness:
...Loud cell phone talkers.
...People who cuss on those public cell phone coversations.
...Too many carry-on items on the plane (see previous post)
...Body odor.
...Grandma perfume.
...Fat people on airplanes.
...People who, for some reason, cannot whisper, but just talk in normal voice more "quietly."
...Loud talkers.
...Close talkers.
...Soft talkers.
...Slow walkers (often multiple and fat) in malls who take up the entire width of the "lane."
...People who leave their blinker on.
...People who are looking around at anything but the stoplight when it changes to green.
...People in front at the stoplight in the far right lane who aren't going to turn right, while people behind them want to turn right.
...Babies who cry at bad times. (that's not fair, is it?)
...Cell phones in movie theaters that ring--and then answered by those people.
...People who haven't figured out that you can quickly press a button to stop the ringing cell phone without hanging up on a person.
...People who give with expectation.
...Unemployed, fat smokers who are sick.
...People who write ads for car dealerships.
...People with huge, untended boils/wounds/abscesses/toenails/feet.
There are many...many...more.
Saturday, January 22, 2005
Future Survey
I am moving in June. I have interviewed at several locations. How 'bout some assistance with where I should live.
Rank these from 1 to 10:
Lexington, KY
Little Rock, AR
Kansas City, MO
Baton Rouge, LA
New Orleans, LA
Temple, TX
Richmond, VA
Columbia, SC
Omaha, NE
Columbus, OH
...just curious.
Rank these from 1 to 10:
Lexington, KY
Little Rock, AR
Kansas City, MO
Baton Rouge, LA
New Orleans, LA
Temple, TX
Richmond, VA
Columbia, SC
Omaha, NE
Columbus, OH
...just curious.
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Music Recommendations
Band: Elbow
Album: Asleep in the Back
Recent addition to the collection (much thanks to my friend, David Gilbert). Love the 1st track. They are melodic, slower tempo, good for the gray days. If you need comparison, combine Coldplay and Peter Gabriel.
Band: Radiohead
Album: The Bends
Radiohead fans are in one of two camps: those who allege to "The Bends," and those who allege to "OK Computer." My S.R.C. is that people are devoted to which of those two was the first they bought/heard. "Bends" was that for me. If you are a guitar player, this is the best example of excellent rhythm guitar in a modern rock setting. The guitars are adding to the music, not simply backing the singer. Masterful.
Band: Spoon
Album: Girls Can Tell
Great title for an album. I guess it's supposed to make you feel insecure. This is an accessible alternative to the pop song-writing out there. This stuff should grow on you. I began to like this album after letting it spin in my car CD player for many days.
That's all for now.
Listen to these tunes, and let yourself be hippened.
Album: Asleep in the Back
Recent addition to the collection (much thanks to my friend, David Gilbert). Love the 1st track. They are melodic, slower tempo, good for the gray days. If you need comparison, combine Coldplay and Peter Gabriel.
Band: Radiohead
Album: The Bends
Radiohead fans are in one of two camps: those who allege to "The Bends," and those who allege to "OK Computer." My S.R.C. is that people are devoted to which of those two was the first they bought/heard. "Bends" was that for me. If you are a guitar player, this is the best example of excellent rhythm guitar in a modern rock setting. The guitars are adding to the music, not simply backing the singer. Masterful.
Band: Spoon
Album: Girls Can Tell
Great title for an album. I guess it's supposed to make you feel insecure. This is an accessible alternative to the pop song-writing out there. This stuff should grow on you. I began to like this album after letting it spin in my car CD player for many days.
That's all for now.
Listen to these tunes, and let yourself be hippened.
Friday, January 14, 2005
[Strength] + [Weakness] = 0
I once was told that everything is math.
Biology is really chemistry. Chemistry is really physics. And physics is really just math.
My good friend has posted on her blog her acknowledgment of weakness in two areas: diets and baking cookies.
To me, that equation works out to be a benefit. Can't eat tasty cookies you cannot bake, right? The result is positive.
Here's my deal:
Strength: Self-starter
Weakness: Bad-finisher
Result: Lots of unfinished business, self-loathing from poor perseverance. Negative result.
Life really is about math.
Biology is really chemistry. Chemistry is really physics. And physics is really just math.
My good friend has posted on her blog her acknowledgment of weakness in two areas: diets and baking cookies.
To me, that equation works out to be a benefit. Can't eat tasty cookies you cannot bake, right? The result is positive.
Here's my deal:
Strength: Self-starter
Weakness: Bad-finisher
Result: Lots of unfinished business, self-loathing from poor perseverance. Negative result.
Life really is about math.
9 Degrees
I'm visiting Omaha, Nebraska, next week for a job interview. Forecasters are predicting highs in the single digits.
That's very cold.
I have only seldomly existed in a sub-zero environment, so much so that I cannot remember the last time.
That's very cold.
I have only seldomly existed in a sub-zero environment, so much so that I cannot remember the last time.
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
The last 24 hours...
I've had a tough day today.
Last night was tough, too. Cried hard...and I'm not afraid to admit it.
You can ask why, but I may not answer in depth.
It's good for me to cry, but only occasionally. If I'm going to cry, that means I'm digging into some deep, surprisingly sensitive areas.
If I'm gonna cry, it had better mean something.
Funny how it sneaks up on me, though. Most often it does sneak up on me. It happens when I talk about my mom. And I don't say that to make the ladies swoon. We've been through some stuff together, and she hasn't deserved one bit of it. Mind you, it hasn't been from me, either.
But the surprise cry is cathartic, in a way.
The father and son playing catch.
The lost, panicked dog in the busy street.
The woman putting her best face on as her marriage crumbles.
Seeing a picture of yourself as a baby in the arms of your now distant father.
Remembering when you and your siblings spent every day together.
Today and last night were different cries. Painful cries, almost mourning. That, I do not do often at all. I was in a sad state. I cannot remember the last time I've done that. Kinda weirded myself out.
Last night was tough, too. Cried hard...and I'm not afraid to admit it.
You can ask why, but I may not answer in depth.
It's good for me to cry, but only occasionally. If I'm going to cry, that means I'm digging into some deep, surprisingly sensitive areas.
If I'm gonna cry, it had better mean something.
Funny how it sneaks up on me, though. Most often it does sneak up on me. It happens when I talk about my mom. And I don't say that to make the ladies swoon. We've been through some stuff together, and she hasn't deserved one bit of it. Mind you, it hasn't been from me, either.
But the surprise cry is cathartic, in a way.
The father and son playing catch.
The lost, panicked dog in the busy street.
The woman putting her best face on as her marriage crumbles.
Seeing a picture of yourself as a baby in the arms of your now distant father.
Remembering when you and your siblings spent every day together.
Today and last night were different cries. Painful cries, almost mourning. That, I do not do often at all. I was in a sad state. I cannot remember the last time I've done that. Kinda weirded myself out.
Airline Annoyance
It was recently announced that cell phone service on airplanes will soon be achieved--much to my dismay. Actually, I'm less dismayed than fearful and pissed off.
I have had a major upswing in my airline travel recently and have been introduced to the pet peeves of this lifestyle. Cell phones are one. The two main culprits are business people and women. Both have been guilty of being on that stupid phone like it's an oxygen tank. You see them at the gate before boarding and you realize they've included you in their conference call as well. They're a little loud, too--do they think we aren't forced to peep in on their conversation? They continue their phone call on the airplane right up to the second that the attendant forces them to hang up. And wouldn't you know, the minute the plane lands and slows down, those fools are right back on the phone, and, again, I'm in on the business meeting/idle woman chit-chat. (btw...I love women dearly...everything about 'em.) Can't it wait a little bit? Don't you want some privacy??
Then there's the carry-on baggage. Remember the rules--maximum of two, one up above, one under the seat below you. There are people out there who don't know these things. Some people cram both large items up above, leaving little room for the late-coming flyer who has to search the plane up and down for some space in the overhead bin. One above, one below.
A similar beast is the coat monger who crams their bags up above and then adds a huge coat or two up above. And usually the coat is poofy, goose-down coat or something, that expands in the bin. This is how it happens. Stuff it in there, then a sleeve flops out. Stuff again, sleeve flops out. Stuff sleeve really hard in bin, sleeve flops out more slowly. Remove poofy coat and re-fold, stuff in bin, everything flops out quickly. Stuff in with olympian might, and the coat magically stays long enough until person hurriedly slams the overhead bin over the coat. Sheesh...then they settle into their seat.
...and get on the cell phone to tell whoever in their right mind cares that they just boarded the plane. Try the text message.
I have had a major upswing in my airline travel recently and have been introduced to the pet peeves of this lifestyle. Cell phones are one. The two main culprits are business people and women. Both have been guilty of being on that stupid phone like it's an oxygen tank. You see them at the gate before boarding and you realize they've included you in their conference call as well. They're a little loud, too--do they think we aren't forced to peep in on their conversation? They continue their phone call on the airplane right up to the second that the attendant forces them to hang up. And wouldn't you know, the minute the plane lands and slows down, those fools are right back on the phone, and, again, I'm in on the business meeting/idle woman chit-chat. (btw...I love women dearly...everything about 'em.) Can't it wait a little bit? Don't you want some privacy??
Then there's the carry-on baggage. Remember the rules--maximum of two, one up above, one under the seat below you. There are people out there who don't know these things. Some people cram both large items up above, leaving little room for the late-coming flyer who has to search the plane up and down for some space in the overhead bin. One above, one below.
A similar beast is the coat monger who crams their bags up above and then adds a huge coat or two up above. And usually the coat is poofy, goose-down coat or something, that expands in the bin. This is how it happens. Stuff it in there, then a sleeve flops out. Stuff again, sleeve flops out. Stuff sleeve really hard in bin, sleeve flops out more slowly. Remove poofy coat and re-fold, stuff in bin, everything flops out quickly. Stuff in with olympian might, and the coat magically stays long enough until person hurriedly slams the overhead bin over the coat. Sheesh...then they settle into their seat.
...and get on the cell phone to tell whoever in their right mind cares that they just boarded the plane. Try the text message.
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