Airline Annoyance

It was recently announced that cell phone service on airplanes will soon be achieved--much to my dismay. Actually, I'm less dismayed than fearful and pissed off.

I have had a major upswing in my airline travel recently and have been introduced to the pet peeves of this lifestyle. Cell phones are one. The two main culprits are business people and women. Both have been guilty of being on that stupid phone like it's an oxygen tank. You see them at the gate before boarding and you realize they've included you in their conference call as well. They're a little loud, too--do they think we aren't forced to peep in on their conversation? They continue their phone call on the airplane right up to the second that the attendant forces them to hang up. And wouldn't you know, the minute the plane lands and slows down, those fools are right back on the phone, and, again, I'm in on the business meeting/idle woman chit-chat. (btw...I love women dearly...everything about 'em.) Can't it wait a little bit? Don't you want some privacy??

Then there's the carry-on baggage. Remember the rules--maximum of two, one up above, one under the seat below you. There are people out there who don't know these things. Some people cram both large items up above, leaving little room for the late-coming flyer who has to search the plane up and down for some space in the overhead bin. One above, one below.

A similar beast is the coat monger who crams their bags up above and then adds a huge coat or two up above. And usually the coat is poofy, goose-down coat or something, that expands in the bin. This is how it happens. Stuff it in there, then a sleeve flops out. Stuff again, sleeve flops out. Stuff sleeve really hard in bin, sleeve flops out more slowly. Remove poofy coat and re-fold, stuff in bin, everything flops out quickly. Stuff in with olympian might, and the coat magically stays long enough until person hurriedly slams the overhead bin over the coat. Sheesh...then they settle into their seat.

...and get on the cell phone to tell whoever in their right mind cares that they just boarded the plane. Try the text message.