The Work Begins

For the last three days, residency has been terribly boring, with orientations that are far too long. Monday and Tuesday were very long—conferences from 7:30 am until 6 pm at the Embassy Suites hotel. Stuck in one room all day, talking about benefits, insurance, policies, privacy, and some other topics of questionable relevance at this time. Though I would prefer it to being thrown immediately into work, these orientations were too long. Not many highlights to speak of.

We got our schedules today, the day before the month begins. We just got our ID’s and parking permits today as well. I had to go and buy a set of scrubs and a lab coat—had to buy my own uniform. Seems like these things should have been taken care of for us. July 1 is our first day of work, and I have the day off. Don’t do any ED work until the 2nd. They are starting us off gently, only working us 10 shifts in the ED, with several more training courses schedule for us during the month to occupy our time, including ATLS, PALS, ACLS Instructor, and probably a few others.

In the ED, we’ll be concentrating mainly on Fast Track cases, which are more “bread and butter” types of emergencies—not life threatening. Even so, I am scared when I left myself dwell on it. Part of it is the fact that I’m the doctor and I’m signing off on the treatment of these individuals starting Saturday. I’m culpable. I am in charge of the assessment, diagnosis, treatment and discharge of these sick people. If someone has a cut finger, I’m gonna have to clean it and sew it up, which I’ve only done once or twice. If they have a broken finger, I’ll have to splint it, which I’ve never done. I think I could spot a bladder infection, but I’m not sure what antibiotic to give. If a baby comes in with a rash, I might as well walk right out of the room. And let’s hope the kid doesn’t have a mild temperature.

Add to this lack of knowledge my own desires and expectations of capability. I want to make a good impression and show my new bosses and co-workers that I am going to be a strong doctor. But I’m clueless and my skills are rusty if not deficient. I don’t know how I’m going to make a good impression on these people. As a student I could try to feign confidence, knowing that it was expected for the doctors to have to correct me and that what I said or did had little bearing on what really happened to the patient. Not anymore.

I’m nervous right now, thinking that I have no idea what to do if someone’s having a heart attack.

Then there’s also the paperwork. Just like any other job, the beginning is rough as you grow accustomed to the routines and logistics and how things are run. I anticipate lots of screw ups with paperwork, aside from knowing how to sign my own name…which carries its own burdens...(sigh)...(see above)...ahh, funny that sometimes worry and stress is so cyclical and yet so inert.

Emily's Word World, #1

My beautiful girlfriend, Emily, loves words and language and correct grammar...thus, I am beginning a line of thoughts classified under "Emily's Word World," which will be dedicated to words, their misuse, mispronunciation, misinterpretation, etc. Here is the first


comfortable

Studying it reveals a 4-syllable word...com-fort-a-bull

Yet everyone says...comf-ter-bull

Three syllables, AND the "er" and "t" are switched.

If we need to drop a syllable, we should more appropriately say...comf-ta-bull

I've done this in front of Emily before, and she immediately stops my train of thought, saying, Wait!...say that again."

I know what she's getting at...

..."I said, 'I'm not comftabull with your picking up on all my idiosyncracies.'"

ACK...AAHack hack...

Just dustin' off the keyboard to post briefly on this blog.

I'm now in KC--CPR certified, and, this afternoon, will be certified to restart someone's heart if I have to. Not as thrilling as you'd think. Actually, my imagination makes it terribly frightening--the responsibility and all.

Livin' in a cool downtown loft with nice hardwood floors, with a schmancy black table displaying some of the handiwork of JBergin. No wall hangings are up yet. I'm scared to disturb the neighbors. Of course, I could just go knock on their door and introduce myself, but that's too much right now. Will wait for the wknd.

Here's my current contact e-mail: samcaire@hotmail.com

If you e-mail, I'll send my phone # to you if I know you.

Back to the studying/training...I'll post more later if I get inspired.

Sam

Vin Diesel

Go to this website for facts about Vin Diesel...click refresh to view another...

http://www.4q.cc/vin/

Wearing Shorts Today

Thank you, God, for a day with beautiful weather.

Kansas City here I come!!!

...Found out today that I have been hired as a resident at Truman Medical Center in Kansas City beginning in July.

Thanks to those who read this for the encouragement, thoughts, and prayers.

days

everyday
i fail
everyday
is a new challenge
everyday
people can be fooled
everyday
yesterday is done
everyday
increases my age
everyday
is a deadline
everyday
is a new to-do list
everyday
i hurt a little
everyday
i forget something
everyday
do you expect something
everyday
i let you down
everyday
my soul is self-defiant
everyday
empty verbage
everyday
i get up again

i don't talk to you
everyday
you probably miss me
everyday
i need help
everyday
you wait for me to turn
everyday
there is an opportunity
everyday
i am myself
everyday
you love myself
everyday
my errors are witnessed
everyday
i can learn
everyday
intervention can happen
everyday
clean slates created
everyday

be with me
everyday
even if i ignore you
everyday
i need you
everyday
meet me halfway
everyday
meet me most of the way
everyday
i'm closer to peace
everyday
even if i don't feel it
everyday
you miss me
everyday
beside me
every day
can i have a feeling
everyday
can you direct me
everyday
you can overcome me
everyday

Mockery

You become that which you mock...

...So, then, I am destined, by reviewing my last post, that I will be fat.

If it weren't already so apparent that I am destined for weight problems, I may have more to say.

Perhaps I should try to soften up my heart and not get as annoyed at folks.

Maybe I should smile more at them...give them a hand...pat 'em on the back.

WWJD?...sheesh...not what I usually do.

Know Thyself

If I could wish one thing upon all people in this world, it would be greater self-awareness. After I introduce this and give some examples, you will see that this is a multi-layered issue that is in an abundant need of improvement in our world.

Self awareness...It is knowing your physical, emotional, and social self. It is knowing you are a part of a bigger picture, that your actions affect other people.

Examples of people with a lack of self-awareness:

...Loud cell phone talkers.
...People who cuss on those public cell phone coversations.
...Too many carry-on items on the plane (see previous post)
...Body odor.
...Grandma perfume.
...Fat people on airplanes.
...People who, for some reason, cannot whisper, but just talk in normal voice more "quietly."
...Loud talkers.
...Close talkers.
...Soft talkers.
...Slow walkers (often multiple and fat) in malls who take up the entire width of the "lane."
...People who leave their blinker on.
...People who are looking around at anything but the stoplight when it changes to green.
...People in front at the stoplight in the far right lane who aren't going to turn right, while people behind them want to turn right.
...Babies who cry at bad times. (that's not fair, is it?)
...Cell phones in movie theaters that ring--and then answered by those people.
...People who haven't figured out that you can quickly press a button to stop the ringing cell phone without hanging up on a person.
...People who give with expectation.
...Unemployed, fat smokers who are sick.
...People who write ads for car dealerships.
...People with huge, untended boils/wounds/abscesses/toenails/feet.


There are many...many...more.

Future Survey

I am moving in June. I have interviewed at several locations. How 'bout some assistance with where I should live.

Rank these from 1 to 10:

Lexington, KY
Little Rock, AR
Kansas City, MO
Baton Rouge, LA
New Orleans, LA
Temple, TX
Richmond, VA
Columbia, SC
Omaha, NE
Columbus, OH

...just curious.

Music Recommendations

Band: Elbow
Album: Asleep in the Back
Recent addition to the collection (much thanks to my friend, David Gilbert). Love the 1st track. They are melodic, slower tempo, good for the gray days. If you need comparison, combine Coldplay and Peter Gabriel.

Band: Radiohead
Album: The Bends
Radiohead fans are in one of two camps: those who allege to "The Bends," and those who allege to "OK Computer." My S.R.C. is that people are devoted to which of those two was the first they bought/heard. "Bends" was that for me. If you are a guitar player, this is the best example of excellent rhythm guitar in a modern rock setting. The guitars are adding to the music, not simply backing the singer. Masterful.

Band: Spoon
Album: Girls Can Tell
Great title for an album. I guess it's supposed to make you feel insecure. This is an accessible alternative to the pop song-writing out there. This stuff should grow on you. I began to like this album after letting it spin in my car CD player for many days.

That's all for now.

Listen to these tunes, and let yourself be hippened.

[Strength] + [Weakness] = 0

I once was told that everything is math.

Biology is really chemistry. Chemistry is really physics. And physics is really just math.

My good friend has posted on her blog her acknowledgment of weakness in two areas: diets and baking cookies.

To me, that equation works out to be a benefit. Can't eat tasty cookies you cannot bake, right? The result is positive.

Here's my deal:

Strength: Self-starter
Weakness: Bad-finisher

Result: Lots of unfinished business, self-loathing from poor perseverance. Negative result.

Life really is about math.

9 Degrees

I'm visiting Omaha, Nebraska, next week for a job interview. Forecasters are predicting highs in the single digits.

That's very cold.

I have only seldomly existed in a sub-zero environment, so much so that I cannot remember the last time.

The last 24 hours...

I've had a tough day today.

Last night was tough, too. Cried hard...and I'm not afraid to admit it.

You can ask why, but I may not answer in depth.

It's good for me to cry, but only occasionally. If I'm going to cry, that means I'm digging into some deep, surprisingly sensitive areas.

If I'm gonna cry, it had better mean something.

Funny how it sneaks up on me, though. Most often it does sneak up on me. It happens when I talk about my mom. And I don't say that to make the ladies swoon. We've been through some stuff together, and she hasn't deserved one bit of it. Mind you, it hasn't been from me, either.

But the surprise cry is cathartic, in a way.

The father and son playing catch.
The lost, panicked dog in the busy street.
The woman putting her best face on as her marriage crumbles.
Seeing a picture of yourself as a baby in the arms of your now distant father.
Remembering when you and your siblings spent every day together.

Today and last night were different cries. Painful cries, almost mourning. That, I do not do often at all. I was in a sad state. I cannot remember the last time I've done that. Kinda weirded myself out.

Airline Annoyance

It was recently announced that cell phone service on airplanes will soon be achieved--much to my dismay. Actually, I'm less dismayed than fearful and pissed off.

I have had a major upswing in my airline travel recently and have been introduced to the pet peeves of this lifestyle. Cell phones are one. The two main culprits are business people and women. Both have been guilty of being on that stupid phone like it's an oxygen tank. You see them at the gate before boarding and you realize they've included you in their conference call as well. They're a little loud, too--do they think we aren't forced to peep in on their conversation? They continue their phone call on the airplane right up to the second that the attendant forces them to hang up. And wouldn't you know, the minute the plane lands and slows down, those fools are right back on the phone, and, again, I'm in on the business meeting/idle woman chit-chat. (btw...I love women dearly...everything about 'em.) Can't it wait a little bit? Don't you want some privacy??

Then there's the carry-on baggage. Remember the rules--maximum of two, one up above, one under the seat below you. There are people out there who don't know these things. Some people cram both large items up above, leaving little room for the late-coming flyer who has to search the plane up and down for some space in the overhead bin. One above, one below.

A similar beast is the coat monger who crams their bags up above and then adds a huge coat or two up above. And usually the coat is poofy, goose-down coat or something, that expands in the bin. This is how it happens. Stuff it in there, then a sleeve flops out. Stuff again, sleeve flops out. Stuff sleeve really hard in bin, sleeve flops out more slowly. Remove poofy coat and re-fold, stuff in bin, everything flops out quickly. Stuff in with olympian might, and the coat magically stays long enough until person hurriedly slams the overhead bin over the coat. Sheesh...then they settle into their seat.

...and get on the cell phone to tell whoever in their right mind cares that they just boarded the plane. Try the text message.

Funny video...

www.ebaumsworld.com

go to "latest media" at the right and click on the picture underneath with the guy with the fist over his mouth. Watch this video...

Medical Primer

Currently I am on a rotation with the Infectious Diseases team at a local unnamed hospital. There are a few phrases that spell doom or evoke other responses when encountered in one of your patients' records.

One is "groin abscess."

Another is "foul smelling discharge."

...In my world right now, those are translated "Good morning," and "Welcome to work."

Primary Posting

I have both friends and family with blogs. Thought I'd throw myself into the mix because people think I'm brilliant and thrive upon each word I say or write. This should satiate those masses.

Actually, I don't write much--at least not creatively. But I thought I might use this for my own occasional ramblings as well as posting anything I find interesting.

We will see. Stay tuned for more.