I AM SPECIAL

Inspired by this article: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17349066/?GT1=9145
Fueled by my own thoughts...

Among the phenomena of my generation, as well as the next one which is teens and college students, is this notion of being suuuuuper special. That everyone has a right to their dream, to their ideal, to perfection, to never settle. While I think this is okay to a degree, I find that it can plague a person's life to be perpetually unsatisfactory, that the goals they are striving for are just not fair to themselves and their failure to achieve leaves them sad and wanting.

An example I see today is these silly American Idol auditions, where the auditioner is really just not that good by almost all accounts. The judges tell her she's not going to Hollywood, and she throws a fit (loud or quiet) and says things like, "I'm never going to give up on my dream," or, "This will only make me stronger and I'm never going to stop."

Well, maybe they should stop. When do we draw the line on chasing the dream vs spinning the wheels?

I had a patient the other day who I decided to ask what she wanted to do in the future for a job. (unusual small talk) She said she wanted to get into law, then become a federal judge. I commended her on her aspirations, and asked where she was in school. This 20 year old was not in school, was beginning courses at a local junior college, and aspired to "law classes" at a local university.

Now...I'm 30, and if I got the notion that I wanted to be surgeon general or something, I know it's already too late for all that stuff. These offices and dreams are long in the making for the people who arrive there. And, better or worse, there's often a pedigree one must have that often does not include junior college and a few years languishing in your early twenties. So I found it funny that this girl thought being a federal attorney was completely achievable if you just "set your mind to it."

Maybe we need to encourage less single-mindedness. We should encourage the periphery. Just because you want to, you are HIGHLY likely not to become a superstar entertainer. And maybe you should call off the dream. Or maybe just readjust it. Even the finalists on American Idol will make a living, but they won't be superstars. And eventually most of them will retire from entertainment and pursue a different life. So what makes you think that, if you're rejected early on in the process that you should "get stronger," and pursue this even harder? Just because you want to? Because you wanna be a star?

It is not a right to become highly successful. Yes, we hear stories of the self-made millionaires and celebrities who were down on their luck and had a breakthrough. But the problem is in expectation.

The word "passion" means "suffering." When you tell me music is your passion, don't confuse yourself because it is simply what is fun for you. If it is your passion, then it brings suffering to you. You will suffer anything to do music in any shape or form. You will suffer to try to find your niche, whatever that is. And that is certainly different than expecting success to come to you just because you want it.