...wondering what Ethiopian food is like? I had a visit from my friend Dr. David Gilbert, classmate of mine at OU med school. He was up here interviewing for a residency position. We went to eat last Monday night, had Ethiopian food. Kinda felt guilty, eating Ethiopian food. Like I should have boxed it up and sent it to Ethiopia so the kids there could eat it. No utensils with Ethiopian food. You are given a large, thin piece of bread that is actually more like a pancake all folded up. You tear off a piece of the pancake and pick up the food with the pancake. On my plate was ground beef, collared greens, spicy lentils and some yellow bean paste type thing. Not too bad. Kinda messy, but the warm towel was handy. And, no follow-up bowel problems.
...This month has been easier for me, compared to October--for all of you who may have sniffed out some kind of despair or lamentation in my last post. I think I may have come across a bit more despondent than I intended. Wasn't terrible, but the hardest working 21 days I've had. I was working on some kind of task every day from the moment I arrived at work at 5am until I left at ~6pm. Toss in the occasional call night where the clock doesn't stop and I don't go home until noon the next day. This leads me to another thought...
...I suppose everyone has choices in how busy they are at work. If you want to advance in your company/work, you will likely have to put in many long days with constant working through the day. If you don't impose pressure on yourself to advance, you can have the slow workday, peppered with personal phone calls, errand running, long lunches, background music, etc. There's certainly nothing wrong with that kind of workday. I'm just jealous. Must be nice.
...I feel like I should have an I-Pod. That's called effective marketing. I'm learning that I am supposed to have a need to have music at my disposal at any given moment, all contained in a conspicuous white package and white appendage from the ear. But when am I supposed to listen to music? When I'm at home, I use the stereo or computer. Work?...funny. The drive?...got the car stereo. So why should I want an I-Pod? Answer/theory: I'm almost 30. If I don't catch on to this gadget and learn it, then I'm on the downhill slide to technical oblivion. The road that leads intelligent men and women to be rendered helpless by a VCR.
...Music lately--Damien Rice
...Dealing with student loan lenders sucks. It's hard not to approach them with suspicion like used car salesmen. Especially since 3% on my loans totals into the thousands.
...It's very hard to let your light shine when a nurse pages you up at 4am, no matter the reason. Jesus never dealt with that. Dr. Gilbert, I have broken our resolution too many times.
...So now I'm in the ICU, where death is somewhat a part of the routine. (Of course, not everyone dies.) The team I'm on this month is consulted when patient are placed on mechanical ventilation. Several patients have had medical care withdrawn due to the poor prognosis of their condition. Others just have so many medical problems that families let nature take its course, with no intervention with resuscitation drugs or procedures. Other patients camp out for a very long time in the ICU, with no instructions on end of life issues, perhaps due to a lack of planning or, in one case, no family is able to be located to dictate plans. I believe now that God has given us some jurisdiction over life and death. I'm not going to touch the abortion issue. But we have become comfortable with the idea of "playing God" when in reference to creating life--birth control, in-vitro fertilization, fertility drugs. However, it is more uncomfortable regarding death. God has given us, as humans, the ability to end life. Murder is a sinful way to end life. Withdrawing medical treatment in light of a statistically proven poor prognosis is not seen as sinful. As medical advancement continues, we are capable of keeping a person "alive" seemingly forever with mechanical ventilation, a feeding tube, and a pace maker. Give antibiotics when infection sets in. Dialysis if the kidneys stop working. Miracles happen, but death is more common. And nobody gets out of this world alive. I think that God's forgiveness covers ending life in these situations. Perhaps the commandment, "Thou shall not kill" should be viewed as a heart issue, meaning that the difference between murder and withdrawal of care is malice vs. wisdom/sympathy/compassion. How many other sins or perceived/implied sins can be viewed as such?
...I need a haircut.
...To the Texas fans out there: Enjoy it while you can. Vince Young will leave one day. Heisman-less (Reggie Bush) and championship-less (USC will make them one-dimensional) to boot.
9 comments:
Sam - loved the iPod commentary....glad to hear you are surviving.....
OK Sam. You haven't blogged much but in the few that you've done I've gathered a sense of frustration with the nursing staff at your hospital. And being a nurse myself I feel the need to respond. Now, first of all, I am in no way trying to assume that these issues you are having have not been due to stupid reasons or situations. I am the first to admit that there are stupid nurses out there, just like there are stupid doctors out there. But being a night shift nurse for 5 years I feel the need to remind you doctors that it is the law that requires us to ask such obvious questions. Yes, if a patient spikes a fever at 4 a.m. and you as the physician have not written for Tylenol, we have to call you and get the verbal or that patient or patients family will be hounding us and calling us names until we do (patients like to focus on fever). Do we know how to dose Tylenol? Absolutely but the law says we can't. Now as far as the more involved questions, I hate to sound rude, but nurses follow the philosophy that we didn't make you become a doctor. A little harsh I know, but that is what the attitude is. Also, having spent a year in teaching hospitals there is also the idea (that comes from the attendings) that you should just ask the resident because "that's what they're here for." And to be honest with you that's why I hated working in teaching hospitals. They really don't encourage the nurses to think for themselves. I learned more in a private hospital than I ever did working with residents. So in some ways, you are the safety net. And finally, remember (or just know) that we really have the capacity to save your butt if needed. I can't tell you how many times I've saved some other doctors butt by picking up stuff they didn't or just by bugging them enough on the phone at 4 a.m. and the patient ended up doing better. So...be nice to your nurse, even at 4 a.m.
As the spouse of a resident, hang in there. And remember you're doing a great work!! ~Sara
Glad to hear things are going well, or that you are at least thinking of getting an i-pod. Miss you dearly, think of you all the time.
I did not insult any nurse's intelligence or capability. I know better. I indicted my own inability to be pleasant at 4am. My hope is that night nurses cut us some slack when it comes to tone of voice and cheerfulness.
I am too often reminded of the influence of unintentional inference. That having a straight face that is neither happy nor sad leaves too much for interpretation. That I and many others are often just too sensitive and complain too much.
Too sensitive? I always thought of you as the Marlboro Man
Zing!!! Nice memory...you enjoy that comment too much, Sam.
Words cannot express my joy at having you reply to one of my comments. After months of trying, now I can sleep.
Everyone has the right to be fussy in the middle of the night. That is why it is night time. I think that it would take you as long to get a hair cut as it would to write on your blog that you need a haircut.
I would let you operate on me with out without an IPOD and a haircut.
no, you don't "need" an iPod. but i think you could still benefit from one. i've seen the clutter of caseless CDs in your car... adding scratches to each one with each bump and turn of the car. i plan on getting myself an iPod... i think i will listen to more of my music collection, resurrecting those long forgotten CDs i once enjoyed. not a need, but an enhancement.
oh, and i didn't let myself feel guilty for eating the ethiopian's food... i did feel fear of the hepatitis A.
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